(Closed) Bridesmaid bad mouthing my wedding

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
12614 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I probably wouldn’t say anything, but if you felt like you needed to, I’d just go in with the, “Oh, hey, I’ve heard from a few people that you were starving at the wedding and didn’t get enough food.  I’m so sorry about that!” and point out that you know she’s talking about your wedding behind your back.

Post # 3
2264 posts
Buzzing bee

I wouldn’t say a word. If there were leftovers, you clearly had plenty to eat. You sound like you were more than accommadating. She’s only embarrassing herself, so you really don’t have to say anything to her or anyone else. 

Post # 4
3028 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I would be pissed as well. How you handle it depends on your relationship with her. If you are very close–which I think you might be based on the fact that she came over on Monday–, I’d bring it up in the least attacking way possible. There are many Bees with very good advice on topics like this, so I’m sure people will suggest ways to approach it.

If you’re not close to her, I’d just let it go. 

Post # 5
305 posts
Helper bee

You know what, some people in life are just like that. They could have the most positive situation and find the negative. More fool her for her bad attitude. You had your day it was perfect DO NOT let her bad attitude give you bad memories. Leave her to it and hold your head high xx

Post # 6
8068 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Wait your BM had to provide her own dinner before the event because there wasn’t going to be enough food for her to eat? I can kind of see why she is pissed off. I am assuming that she had to come early for hair and make up etc?

I would never not make sure that someone who was close enough to be in my bridal party had enough to eat at my wedding. 

Post # 7
9557 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would ignore it. She’s being pissy because there wasn’t much for her to eat since she’s a vegetarian. I get grumpy when I’m hungry, as well. However, it’s in poor taste for her to broadcast her views so publicly. But what you are going to do? Call her out on it? She has the right to complain, especially since it sounds like she was legitimately, hungry. Just ignore it and focus on how much fun you had.

Post # 8
1379 posts
Bumble bee

Regardless of what people say, it’s obvious that you’re still upset about this incident.  Since this BM was a friend enough to you for you to ask her to be in your wedding, you have every right to go to her directly and ask her point blank, why the heck she’s talking crap about your wedding to people.  That is not cool that someone who was supposed to support you at your wedding is being so negative about her experience.  The best thing would have been for her to come to you and tell you how she felt vs. gossiping.

If I were you, I would immediately go and try to have a convo with her about what she’s doing. 

Post # 9
525 posts
Busy bee

Not much of a friend, if you ask me.

Post # 10
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Sfcali:  She sounds like a bitter annoying person. If she were my friend I would call her out on her bull

Post # 11
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Just curious, what kind of food did you have at your wedding? I usually don’t get full on just passed appetizers because the servers are flitting around all night.  

Post # 12
9698 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

If you’re good friends, I would ask her honestly and with the intention of apologizing if she were starving,” hey, BM, I heard you were left hungry at our wedding! I’m so sorry! What could we have done to prevent that? ” 

then you will find out that she’s just grousing, or you were told wrong information, or she really was hungry. 

Post # 13
2613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Did your guests know it wasn’t a sit-down dinner? If I didn’t know ahead of time, I would probably have been surprised and hungry. It’s okay to not do a full meal, but if it was a formal wedding, I have to admit that passing around appetizers would strike me as odd.

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