(Closed) Bridesmaid bailed on wedding due to no vegetarian option???

posted 1 year ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 181
1998 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

If you want to say vegan is an allergy fine, but its not. You can re-introduce meat back into a vegan diet if you so choose too as well.

all this kind of information is readily available on the internet. But believe in what you want to believe in….


Post # 182
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

RobbieAndJuliahaha :  oh I apologize Your Majesty, I didn’t know I had to address you separately to talk to you. 

I wonder why you started replying to my comments in the first place then, none of them were addressed to you.

Post # 185
472 posts
Helper bee

Kslim13 :  Just stop. How does it concern you in any way? Eat what you want and worry about yourself. 

Post # 187
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

This bridesmaid, have you contributed towards her travel/accomodation/dress/accessories? 

Post # 188
5916 posts
Bee Keeper

melihbee :  “oh I apologize your Majesty” 

Much better laughing

“I didn’t know I had to address you separately to talk to you” 

lol well of course you should, I showed you and your sockpuppet the courtesy of separate replies. 

But I do appreciate you coming back to this thread after flouncing out of it just to reply to little ole me, bonus points for that 


Post # 189
1017 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t understand the practicalities of having to pay for 50 vegetarian meals, plus 50 non-vegetarian meals, for a guest list of 50.  Does that mean that they prepare 100 meals in total, give all guests the option of either meal, and then just throw away the 50 that don’t get eaten?  That seems incredibly wasteful.

Post # 190
4499 posts
Honey bee

vegetarianthrowaway :  well maybe you should find better friends then if no one has ever accommodated you.  Why is your entire friend group so self-absorbed and ungracious?

Within my various friend groups there are two vegetarians, one dairy allergy, several very picky eaters, and I myself can’t have gluten, dairy, and a variety of fruits.  We always accommodate each other because we care about each other and want to make sure no one is left out or treated less than.  And we’re people who throw dinner parties, bake for each other’s birthdays, and go out to dinner a lot and always make sure whatever we do and wherever we go has an option for everyone – so it is not like this just has never come up.  My best friend even got me a gluten-free, dairy-free slice of cake from a bakery for HER mother’s funeral service.  My former college roommate got me a cupcake within my dietary restrictions at her wedding (in addition to a full meal I could eat).  

Being kind, gracious, and inclusive should be the norm.  Why wouldn’t you want to make sure the people you care about feel included and are able to enjoy themselves the same as everyone else?

Post # 191
483 posts
Helper bee

vegetarianthrowaway :  Hey OP, you did what you could do and you’re not in the wrong. If this is the hill your friend is choosing to die on, let her. Your caterer is, like a lot of the women on this thread, being completely unreasonable in demanding 1k. But your friend is being unreasonable too.

To be totally honest, I would be willing to bet that this is less about the food and more about the fact that she doesn’t want to sacrifice the time off or pay to go to your wedding, which is TOTALLY okay. It sounds to me like she is using the food issue as a convenient excuse to back out. Let her and don’t hold a grudge about it.

Wedding planning is stressful enough as it is, don’t sweat this issue and definitely don’t sweat all the catty, obtuse opinions from the internet peanut gallery. I’m sure your wedding is going to be lovely and this little matter won’t be your takeaway from your wedding day 10 years from now.

Post # 192
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

mrsbarack :  Honestly this is probably the best comment on this thead so far. 

Post # 193
12119 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

There is a big difference between offering a vegetarian option to all guests versus making an exception for one. I know you said the venue won’t cater to a single guest, and I suppose it’s possible they are that unhelpful, but I’m not convinced there is not a communication problem or that the issue can’t be addressed by going up the chain of command. 

In the alternative I don’t see why one of the two options can’t be vegetarian. 

Contrary to what you say, I feel that destination weddings do put plenty of pressure on people to attend. They are essentially your idea of someone else’s vacation. Costs are shifted to guests so that a combination wedding/ honeymoon becomes affordable. People don’t get a second chance to attend a wedding of a loved one and will often sacrifice and prioritize beyond what is reasonable to attend. 

I agree with those who say the meal was the straw that broke the camel’s back. 

Post # 194
331 posts
Helper bee

melihbee : The difference is, at this hypothetical raw wedding, you’d have a *full meal* you could eat, with protein, carbs, veggies–not just nutrient-less potato and iceburg lettuce.

 Kslim13 :  Depends on the vegan, honestly. For example, I became vegetarian mostly by choice (I am allergic to pork and also didn’t tolerate red meat very well), but I am intolerant to eggs and dairy, so the vegan thing is due to medical issues. Additionally, since it’s been nearly a decade since I’ve eaten meat, I get violently ill when someone sneaks chicken broth or similar into my food. For many, your body adapts and it becomes impossible to eat meat without getting sick.

Post # 195
331 posts
Helper bee

Okay, after reading the updates, I think you’ve done what you could, OP. It’s great that you’ve offered to feed her before the wedding and after, and I do think she could be okay with nibbling at the wedding in between. I’m sorry she’s being a stickler. This vegan would be perfectly happy with that arrangement, given that the caterer isn’t being flexible. Sorry she’s not supporting you knowing all that’s happening with the caterer being ridiculous.

Everyone in this thread being awful to vegetarians, ever think that vegetarians might be defensive becacuse people act like their beliefs/morals aren’t important? Respect begets respect. Personally, I usually don’t try to request a special vegan meal at events and just eat before and after, but that’s when I’m a guest. Based on the info OP originally posted, it seemed like she knew this would be a problem (as in, she knew her bm was a vegetarian) and hadn’t done much to try to rectify the issue. Based on that, it seemed like she wasn’t respecting or appreciating her bm much. Now with the updates and seeing that she’s tried to accommodate her friend, I think OP is great and that her Bridesmaid or Best Man is an unfortunate individual who may fit the vegetarian stereotype. But that doesn’t mean all vegetarians fit the stereotype, or that they don’t deserve your respect. Look at that other thread from last week where the issue was a few vegan guests–the vegetarians and vegans in that thread were all very supportive of the OP.

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