- 6 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
bee’s I need your advice! Me and my fiancee finally picked our wedding party which is great but I am having a dilemma! The backstory with one of my bridesmaids is that I met her through my fiancee’s friend. My fiancee has a few groups of friends and the bridesmaid in question has a boyfriend who is in one of those groups. My fiancee had long chosen who he wanted as his groomsmen and obviously as we all know the friend’s we don’t chose to be in the wedding isn’t because we don’t like them but merely because there isn’t enough room! My fiancee was sad when there wasn’t enough room for him to be in one of his friends wedding but he understood.. in fact that friend is going to be in OUR wedding! Now back to the story… I had chosen her to be in the wedding party because I love her, she’s a good friend and didn’t think so much about the fact that her boyfriend wasn’t picked to be in the wedding because a lot of my fiancee’s friends weren’t chosen but a few weeks ago she tried to pull out of the wedding because she felt uncomfortable that she didn’t know many of the other girls aside from me and I might be too busy to hang out with her but I assured her I know how she was feeling so I even went as far as to tell her she could bring another friend to the ‘girl’ events so she could feel more comfortable.
She’s not trying to pull out now but she is dropping hints that her boyfriend is upset that he wasn’t chosen to be in the wedding and she feels like a bad girlfriend. I’m starting to think more and more that she was only comfortable being in the wedding because she thought her boyfriend was! Now i’m telling her if she wants he can sit at the head table with us but now me and my fiancee are thinking this couple is making us change everything around! I don’t understand what the big deal is? First of all we’re taking pictures BEFORE the ceremony so we have more time with our guests so pretty much she will only be away from him for a whole half an hour during the ceremony and now he’s crying that he’s going to be alone. AGAIN… this is one of my fiancee’s friends who is also close friends with a lot of other people who will be there so he will be sitting with HIS friends at his own table. When I was in my uncles wedding I sat at the headtable to eat but after that went right to my fiancee’s table and hung out with him all night so I know what it’s like and it’s not that big of a deal.
My fiancee was going to ask him to be a reader so he could feel ‘part of the wedding’ but now he’s thinking he’s not just because of his attitude about the whole thing. My fiancee was going to talk to him about everything to tell him is was a good friend but didn’t have any room (pretty much trying to make sure he’s friends feelings weren’t hurt) but we saw them the other night and his friend was pretty stand of ish. I understand it must be weird having your girlfriend in your friends wedding when your not in it but my fiancee didn’t chose her I DID! Am I looking at things wrong here? am I doing something wrong?