Post # 1
How do you handle the situation if you have a MOH/maid that is disrespectful and rude to your other maids? Since it’s our day, we obviously don’t want to deal with drama between the girls about party planning/duties/having to just be in each others presence, but where do you draw the line and how do you go about handling the situation?
Nothing in particular…yet. but I do have girls as my maids/MOH that aren’t fond of each other and both can get pretty hot-headed with their feelings :/ I definitely dont want any drama but I love my girls enough to want them to show each other some respect.
Post # 3
First, if my Maid/Matron of Honor can’t get along with my maids, then she shouldn’t be Maid/Matron of Honor in my opinion. Second, deal with it when the situation arises, but if you alredy feel like there are girls who are going to drive you crazy with drama perhaps, since you are early enough in the game, you should rethink your wedding party. Are they really going to be spending that uch time together though? Mine only saw each other for the rehearsal and wedding so no drama.
Post # 4
Your Maid/Matron of Honor represents you. If she is mean to your girls then you are being mean by standing by and letting it happen. I would be pissed with both of you.
Post # 5
My Maid/Matron of Honor is my best friend. I love her, but she is quite opinionated and sometimes comes off too controlling. I am very organized and prefer being the one to handle details (I think its fun to see everything come together). So, when decisions need to be made (e.g. Date of shower) I ask everyone what works best for them and then go from there. My BMs are sisters and best friends, so she knows she is not more important than they are. I also shut her down (though not in a mean way). I am super relaxed about their dresses, shoes, hair, makeup. I gave a color range and said find any dress that you love-whatever style, shape, etc. One day she said “We’ll, I think we should all go together and…” I quickly said “No, your dress is your dress. Everyone knows the guidelines and is capable of finding something they love.” She has a hard time with that it doesn’t have to be a true Bridesmaid or Best Man dress and they dont have to be the same. It may be useful if the decisions come from you and ask them to work together. It depends on your Maid/Matron of Honor. If it gets bad, then I’d talk and tell her while she is your Maid/Matron of Honor she is there to support you, and not to control others.
Post # 6
They really shouldn’t, whether they like each other or not, they should be able to deal with it out of respect for you. On the other hand, some girls just can’t act like adults and have to make everything about themselves, which is just plain shitty, but it’s reality, unfortunately. I hope you’re just being pessimistic and that they all behave! 🙂
Post # 7
@ShabbyChicBee: I would handle the situation by not having a Maid/Matron of Honor who I was afraid would be rude and disrespectful to my other friends.
Post # 8
I agree and I will step in if anyone gets out of line. I think they ALL represent me so being on their best behavior is a must! I guess right now it’s a hoping-for-the-best, expecting-the-worst situation.
I once was in a situation where I was a bridesmaid and overheard the Maid/Matron of Honor take credit for all my dirty work on the parties, laughed to others about asking me to do the expensive and daunting tasks and the bride did nothing because “thats just the way Maid/Matron of Honor is” (said in previous non-wedding convesations). I didnt say anything but it sure didn’t set well with me 🙁
Post # 9
@ShabbyChicBee: My sister really isn’t a fan of my BFF. In high school my BFF was a bit of a bitch…but for that matter so was I. Name just about any movie about cliquey high school girls and that was us. My sister was not one of those girls. My sister has accepted that BFF will be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and my sister has agreed to be the bigger person and suck it up and get along. My other sister, who is 7 years younger, will probably cause some drama as she has completely different taste than the older girls but I know ultimately she’ll so what I ask (and I’m not asking much…). I think it’s all about expectations and choosing girls who respect you and will respect your day.