Post # 1
It’s my first post, but seeing as you guys seem much nicer than a lot of the people over at The Knot, I figured I might as well give it a shot 🙂
I’m pretty sure SO has the ring! He’s had it for about a month now (I think), so now I’m playing the waiting game. My question is: I have a friend who has been dating her SO longer than I’ve been with mine…and I’ve been with mine for almost 5 years…and I worry about how to break the news to her because I know that she really wants to be the bridesmaid and not the bride.
Has anyone been in this situation before? How do you handle it?
Post # 3
@LizLemon: Did you maybe mean that your friend wants to be the bride and not the bridesmaid?
Post # 4
Hopefully she will just be happy for you. You can’t do anything about her boyfriend not proposing before yours.
Post # 5
I know how you are feeling Your not wanting to rub it in her face as you know she had been waiting longer than you. I would tell your friend as you don’t want the news coming from someone else but I would tone down some of the excitement and ring flashing! Lol See how she responds when you tell her the news! She might not show no excitement at first but shell come around! or she might surprise you and be really happy for you. Not to mention your engagement might inspire her boyfriend to pop the question!!
Post # 6
hah, yeah blayne7 that’s exactly what i meant 🙂 sorry about that!
Post # 7
@MissComicBook: I second that reply.
Try not to worry about it and deal with it only if it becomes an issue. There’s no sense in worrying about something that you don’t really have any control over ie. when her SO proposes, her feelings towards you getting engaged first 🙂
Post # 8
Thanks, guys. I just don’t want her to get upset because this is something we’ve talked about before…you know, how a lot of our friends are getting married who have been with their SO’s shorter amounts of time. We’ve sort of bonded over it. I feel a little guilty that I’ll probably be the one to leave the “Waiting” club, but hopefully we can be excited together and it might put the bug in HER SO’s ear 🙂
Post # 9
I was in the same boat as your friend. Trust me you should tell her. My friends have all been with they’re partners a lot less than me (I mean years less). But I was still happy for them and it’s special for some reason with my friends when your the first to find out someone is engaged in the group.
Trust me when she does get proposed to after all the waiting it will be the most amazing feeling. I was the last to get proposed to and it feels great.. I cried (lol). Every couple is different they will do whats right for them in they’re own time.
I’m sure she would be more upset if her clsoe friend did not tell her such big news because she was worried about her feelings. I personally don’t think you should feel guilty.
Post # 10
Hey – I hear ya. All 3 of my BMs aren’t married or engaged yet (and I know 2 of them are really looking forward to it). All you can do is be kind and not talk about your wedding every five minutes! Just be sensitive and trust that she WILL be genuinely happy for you. Make sure you talk about other things, just like you alwalys have. I have a “waiting” friend who is not happy that she’s “waiting” and I try to not mention the wedding planning unless she asks.
Maybe with your friend, if you know she’ll ask you to be one of her BMs too, you can say things like “well when it’s your wedding” and “I’ll do this for yours, too!” so she knows that you’re thinking about her eventual engagement as well.
Post # 11
I’ve been in your friends boat and I won’t lie, it isn’t easy! Although I was VERY happy for BFF, there was a small green monster of jelousy at the same time. My advice would be the same as everyone elses just tell her the truth if she is a true friend she will accept it. Now by the same token try not to talk about your wedding all the time. It will be tempting but at the same time try and keep your friendship with some normalcy as well regular girl talk that sort of thing. My BFF was pretty good about it although it was still hard for me. Hopefully, now that her wedding is over she will get to do the same thing for me next year.