(Closed) Bridesmaid can only afford 50.00 for bridesmaid dress,

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 62
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@weddingmaven  Isn’t it kind of unfair though, that if she is under severe financial pressure, she should also be subjected to the embarassment of the honor of “bridesmaid” being taken away??? If they have to drop out of the wedding party, isn’t that like saying “Sorry, you are too poor to be specially honoured in my wedding!” If there is such a circumstance, shouldn’t the couple getting married cover the cost?

Post # 63
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

All of my Bridesmaid or Best Man are in tight financial situations so I got creative.  I found an ivory lace skirt on LaPoshStyle.com (a boutique website) for $32, and then I cut out paint chips in subtle variations of my wedding colors (aqua and mint).  The Bridesmaid or Best Man get to pick their shirts so long as it coordinates with one of the paint chips.  You could use this paint chip idea with whichever (or both) wedding color you’d like the dresses to be.  Also, check around the various boutique websites, you can get some great dresses for less than $50. Some off the top of my head are ustrendy.com (1000s of dresses!), modcloth.com, etsy.com, and shopruche.com.  Oh, and a great site for very inexpensive jewelry and accessories is simpleaddiction.com.  Just google “boutique website” and you’ll have hundreds of shops to choose from.  

Post # 64
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I dont know what stores you have in Canada, but maybe something like an Old Navy, or JCpenney, Target, maybe even a Macy’s with a coupon. I dont know what the size range of your bridesmaids are, but these stores carry straight and plus sizes.

Post # 65
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@runty_bunting  I personally don’t like the bridal party concept and will not be having a Bridal Party at my wedding. However, if I were a selected bridesmaid and could not afford it, I would feel weird having the couple/other BMs cover my costs. It’s not just the cost of dress in the end – there is the bachelorette party, bridal shower, and all that jazz. I would feel watched and weird and would decline the honor, but that’s just me.

Post # 66
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

One more idea is to rent a designer dress from renttherunway.com.  You can rent a ~$200 dress for $50, and they send you 2 sizes at no extra cost.  

Post # 67
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I would let her pick whatever dress she wanted because people on ODSP have every little money whatsoever  to even cover basic necesseties and she might want to choose something that she could possibly wear again.  It sounds like this person is dear to you and you want her to stand up in your wedding, 

Personally I suggest you hold off on buying anything and shop the January sales where all the party dresses are marked down substantially.  

Post # 68
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@runty_bunting  I had to deal with a financially buderned bridesmaid. It came rather upruptly (she quit her job, left her husband and got a new apt) and she wasn’t able to afford the dress. We discussed things and I rather her be a guest than be burdened with the costs of being a bridemaid. She was fully aware of what came with accepting the title, as I was her Bridesmaid or Best Man when she got married and outlined the same rules and guidelines. Also, me paying for the dress and all of the bridesmaids cost for her was not an option. When you are paying for a wedding, so many other things come up that you didn’t really budget for and I couldn’t risk paying for her knowing I may have things come up. Also, its not fair for the other bridesmaids. She totally understood.

So, I think if the Bridesmaid or Best Man has such tight restrictions, being a Bridesmaid or Best Man may not be a good idea for her. She may not be able to do the other things a Bridesmaid or Best Man may be expected to do. I’d give her the option of an out. I don’t think giving her the option is embarrassing, I think it will alieve her of another fiancial burden she may not have expected to be so large. To kick her out is a different thing entirely.

Post # 69
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Sometimes it’s not just about having the time to save up for the dress – it’s also the fact that when you’re fairly broke, spending a ton of money on a throwaway dress is downright frivolous and not always doable. 

It sounds like you’re leaning towards letting them pick a dress in a color scheme…? I think that’s a really good middle ground and will help her feel included and breathe a sigh of relief. She probably wants to be there for you but is stressing about the money.

Post # 70
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I bought my ladies dresses at JCP. 45 dollars for all three. There are totally options out there, just avoid anything wedding related. It somehow triples prices.

Post # 71
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Wow, she is on disability and “the least she could do” is buy a dress for your wedding? You have all of these reasons why you can’t afford it (on mat. leave with a new baby, other wedding related costs, unexpected expenses coming up), but her meager disability cheques aren’t enough of an excuse for you? Bruuuutal! 

Post # 72
Member
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

I would be honoured to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and would never expect the bride to pay for my dress. I guess that’s just a very Canadian way of thinking. Now… if I was in a wedding and I was asked to pay $400 for a dress I’d have a hard time, and expect to have some of it paid for. 

I think that it would be good to ask your friend if she could pay more in a few months time – and if the answer was no – I would try normal stores, or mismatched dresses. I was at a wedding a few weeks ago with mismatched bridesmaids and my favourite dress in the bunch cost $30 (it was on sale, but still!!). 

Good luck!

Post # 73
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@isabelle_86  My colors are also Purple. But im putting my girls in black, and they will be carrying purple flowers. I think black is classy, simple, and affordable! Plus, you dont want to shove your wedding colors down peoples throat, just nice hints of color to make your day pop!

Post # 74
Member
13385 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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@runty_bunting  Nobody would be rescinding the offer.  The bride should not be the one to bring up the idea of stepping down   It would be the choice of the Bridesmaid or Best Man herself to either not accept in the first place or to step down if things are getting out of control and the bride is not willing or able to accomodate.  There’s nothing embarrassing about being on disability and a budget.

Post # 75
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@turnanewleaf  OMG thank you! A voice of reason. forget different customs, the lack of empathy shown by OP is really what’s shocking, and really ironic given her description of her own financial situation.

And I’m sorry, but it is ridiculuous, and yes, BRUTAL that a bridesmaid would have to step down due to lack of funds, whether through her own initiative (I would be mortified if I had to!) or not.

@turnanewleaf There IS something humiliating, however, in being forced into the painful acknowledgement that your lack of finances will restrict you from a special role in a loved one’s wedding. I just feel that is is so elitist, and heartbreakingly insensitive and unfair, that someone should be denied the joy and honour of being in your wedding because YOU are putting them in a strained financial position.

Post # 76
Member
1008 posts
Bumble bee

My bridesmaid dresses were $46 each from DressBarn.  I can’t see any particularly nice purple ones for under $50 on their website at the moment, but they do seem to come and go, so you could check there every now and then if you have trouble finding something.

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