Post # 77
Sorry if I was your bridesmaid I’d want to step down. She is doing you a favor, you aren’t doing her one.
Even though its expected for bridesmaids to buy their bridesmaid its not a requirement, that’s rude to expect it, if the Bridesmaid or Best Man is financially burdened then funds should come out of your emergency fund of wedding planning.
Prob. too late for the OP but for bees that don’t have one 1-3% of you budget should be set aside for things like this, tips, and other emergencies or unforeseen expenses that come up.
Ps. although all my girls could afford a $250 dress, I worked hard to make sure we got amazing dresses for less than $100. Why because I love all of them too much to waste their money because even if its my day its a celebration of everyone I love! 🙂
Post # 78
@turnanewleaf: im not asking much for her. I dont expect her to pay for the most expensive dress.I gave her more than enough notice to save money up.I shouldnt have to pitch in for her dress.
Post # 79
@isabelle_86: do you want this bm in your wedding wearing a $50 dress or not?
Post # 80
@runty_bunting: +1 Agree. Maybe it’s just because I’m English, but the whole thing never sat right with me.
Post # 81
@asianbarbie: im not asking her to step down as bridesmaid that is her choice if she wants to. Yes that would have been a good idea but as I have mentioned before im unable to pay for the dress.I have my own expenses to pay. I can maybe take it out of the gift that they would be receiving. But she wouldnt be receiving a gift from me.
Post # 82
@Nic01: yes.whatever she afford im happy with.
Post # 83
@turnanewleaf: its not that it isnt enough, we arent entirely very close.otherwise I would have been happy to pay for her dress. All of my bridesmaids have expected to pay for their dresses. The bride should not have to pay for the bridesmaid dress if she is paying for her own.
There are other ways of paying for her dress and I dont know why some of you expect me to pay for her dress if I have my own to pay for. If she doesnt have the money when the other girls r putting their orders in or by January she will have to just by her dress else where at her price she can afford.
Post # 84
@runty_bunting: What? I have never heard of a bride paying for Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses~!
Post # 85
@ZebraPrintMe: Seconded. I’ve been a bridesmaid and didn’t have to pay for anything (except my own expenses on the hen do). Though on the other hand I didn’t expect a gift, and I didn’t get overly involved with the planning/organising/etc – both of which seems to be the done thing in the US!
Also – I’ve seen so much stress on these boards from brides who have awkward bridesmaids or bridesmaids who are having to pay out far more than they wanted – it seems to me that things are far easier when the bride covers all bridesmaid expenses!
Post # 86
I found dresses for my girls at Le Chateau outlet, you can shop the outlet online too. My cokours are purple and green, so they will be in purple dresses.
If you want an infinity dress keep your eye on groupon or wagjag, they come up every once in a while at a discount. I also looked at dresses at Sears, they had purple and the one I liked was $50. You might be able to get sales around the holidays as others have said.
I also looked at David’s Bridal but the least expensive they had was $119.
Good luck, and keep your eyes open everywhere, you never know where you could find a dress
Post # 87
I ordered dresses from Modcloth for my girls (who paid me back, it was just easier to order them altogether to ensure availability) for $50 each.
Just if you do order from there, keep in mind that their stock can run out quickly. I suggest getting everyone’s measurements and ordering them all yourself. I would also suggest ordering an extra dress with a larger size in case one girl doesn’t fit and they don’t have stock left.
Post # 88
@isabelle_86: Why should you have to pay for the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses when you are paying for your own (the brides) dress?
Well I think you will never convince those of us that come from a place where we would never ever consider asking a Bridesmaid or Best Man to pay fro something for our wedding that what you said is reasonable.
Basically for those of us that come from countries/regions where the bride and groom pay for everything involved in their wedding it would be rude to ask someone to pay for a dress or hire/buy a suit of our picking to be in our wedding. I think that maybe those of us from this tradition have a different view on what a Bridesmaid or Best Man is. To me it is more important to have the person there because of what they mean to me and not whether or not they can afford the dress that I choose. To me they are doing me the honour of supporting my marriage, supporting me personally and acting as a witness to our nuptuials.
For what it is worth I paid for my own dress and for my BM’s dresses, make up, shoes, hair, jewellery and other accessories. For me paying out $1000+ dollars to cover these costs was worth it to have my best friends standing up with me on my wedding day. I don;t think you can put a price on friendship.
At the end of the day things are done differently in different countries and even though I will never understand the justifications given by those who deem BM’s should pay for their attire I understand that other countries do not have the same traditions.
I think as long as you are respectful of her budget then you are doing the right thing.
But what if you cannot find anything in her budget? What happens then? Is it more important to you to have her there or for her to be in a purple dress?
Post # 89
@isabelle_86: I assume you have done the math in your head for the $300.00 to go towards your bridesmaids hair and makeup. This would mean you’re having 6 bridesmaids? Or does that $300.00 include your hair and makeup too?
If that $300.00 doesn’t include your hair and makeup (and you are having less than 6 BMs), then it would be cheaper and less of a financial burden on your BMs to just pay for the $50 dresses rather than the hair and makeup.
At any rate, your wedding is still a ways away. I would just tell her she has until such and such date to her dress in purple. She has plenty of time to save until July or at least plenty of time to find a purple dress.
Post # 90
@j_jaye: Where I come from the bridesmaids/groomsmen pay for their own suits/ Dresses. Because my parents are not paying for my wedding, myself and my fiance are paying for most of everything with the help of his mom. If we cant find anything in her budget than i will have to pitch in and help pay. I have 2 different colors to choose from, so im sure i can find something in her price range for those colors.
Post # 91
In a perfect world, and if I were making up the “rules” it would be exactly like some of these posters in other countries are saying. I’m from the US and logically, I can’t think of any reason it’s OK to expect bridesmaids to spend 200, give or take, on a dress that they not only didn’t choose, but will likely never wear again. It was a big reason why I did not have a large wedding party.
But being it’s NOT the tradition here, as a Bridesmaid or Best Man you have one of two choices. Either accept, or turn down the honor. As a bride you also have choices. The dress vs. the friend or family member standing beside you. Even then, what happens when the dress has already been agreed on by all, is inexpensive, and all the other maids have already ordered their dresses? It’s the responsibility of the Bridesmaid or Best Man to ask questions, state her limitations, and accept or decline from the beginning. Once in awhile someone will lose a job or face unforeseen circumstances, even after accepting. That’s a valid reason to drop out.