(Closed) Bridesmaid can only afford 50.00 for bridesmaid dress,

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 77
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Sorry if I was your bridesmaid I’d want to step down. She is doing you a favor, you aren’t doing her one. 

 

Even though its expected for bridesmaids to buy their bridesmaid its not a requirement, that’s rude to expect it, if the Bridesmaid or Best Man is financially burdened then funds should come out of your emergency fund of wedding planning.

 

Prob. too late for the OP but for bees that don’t have one 1-3% of you budget should be set aside for things like this, tips, and other emergencies or unforeseen expenses that come up.

 

Ps. although all my girls could afford a $250 dress, I worked hard to make sure we got amazing dresses for less than $100. Why because I love all of them too much to waste their money because even if its my day its a celebration of everyone I love! 🙂

 

Post # 79
Member
1581 posts
Bumble bee

@isabelle_86:  do you want this bm in your wedding wearing a $50 dress or not?

Post # 80
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@runty_bunting:  +1 Agree. Maybe it’s just because I’m English, but the whole thing never sat right with me.

Post # 84
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@runty_bunting:  What? I have never heard of a bride paying for Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses~!

Post # 85
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@ZebraPrintMe: Seconded. I’ve been a bridesmaid and didn’t have to pay for anything (except my own expenses on the hen do). Though on the other hand I didn’t expect a gift, and I didn’t get overly involved with the planning/organising/etc – both of which seems to be the done thing in the US!

Also – I’ve seen so much stress on these boards from brides who have awkward bridesmaids or bridesmaids who are having to pay out far more than they wanted – it seems to me that things are far easier when the bride covers all bridesmaid expenses! 

 

 

Post # 86
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I found dresses for my girls at Le Chateau outlet, you can shop the outlet online too. My cokours are purple and green, so they will be in purple dresses.
If you want an infinity dress keep your eye on groupon or wagjag, they come up every once in a while at a discount. I also looked at dresses at Sears, they had purple and the one I liked was $50. You might be able to get sales around the holidays as others have said.
I also looked at David’s Bridal but the least expensive they had was $119.

Good luck, and keep your eyes open everywhere, you never know where you could find a dress

Post # 87
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MrsYokiman:  +1

View original reply
@isabelle_86:  I ordered dresses from Modcloth for my girls (who paid me back, it was just easier to order them altogether to ensure availability) for $50 each.

Just if you do order from there, keep in mind that their stock can run out quickly.  I suggest getting everyone’s measurements and ordering them all yourself.  I would also suggest ordering an extra dress with a larger size in case one girl doesn’t fit and they don’t have stock left. 

Post # 88
Member
7522 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@isabelle_86:  Why should you have to pay for the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses when you are paying for your own (the brides) dress?

Well I think you will never convince those of us that come from a place where we would never ever consider asking a Bridesmaid or Best Man to pay fro something for our wedding that what you said is reasonable.

Basically for those of us that come from countries/regions where the bride and groom pay for everything involved in their wedding it would be rude to ask someone to pay for a dress or hire/buy a suit of our picking to be in our wedding. I think that maybe those of us from this tradition have a different view on what a Bridesmaid or Best Man is. To me it is more important to have the person there because of what they mean to me and not whether or not they can afford the dress that I choose. To me they are doing me the honour of supporting my marriage, supporting me personally and acting as a witness to our nuptuials.

For what it is worth I paid for my own dress and for my BM’s dresses, make up, shoes, hair, jewellery and other accessories. For me paying out $1000+ dollars to cover these costs was worth it to have my best friends standing up with me on my wedding day. I don;t think you can put a price on friendship.

At the end of the day things are done differently in different countries and even though I will never understand the justifications given by those who deem BM’s should pay for their attire I understand that other countries do not have the same traditions.

I think as long as you are respectful of her budget then you are doing the right thing.

But what if you cannot find anything in her budget? What happens then? Is it more important to you to have her there or for her to be in a purple dress?

Post # 89
Member
5708 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@isabelle_86:  I assume you have done the math in your head for the $300.00 to go towards your bridesmaids hair and makeup. This would mean you’re having 6 bridesmaids? Or does that $300.00 include your hair and makeup too?

If that $300.00 doesn’t include your hair and makeup (and you are having less than 6 BMs), then it would be cheaper and less of a financial burden on your BMs to just pay for the $50 dresses rather than the hair and makeup.

At any rate, your wedding is still a ways away. I would just tell her she has until such and such date to her dress in purple. She has plenty of time to save until July or at least plenty of time to find a purple dress.

Post # 91
Member
13567 posts
Honey Beekeeper

In a perfect world, and if I were making up the “rules”  it would be exactly like some of these posters in other countries are saying.  I’m from the US and logically, I can’t think of any reason it’s OK to expect bridesmaids to spend 200, give or take, on a dress that they not only didn’t choose, but will likely never wear again.  It was a big reason why I did not have a large wedding party.  

But being it’s NOT the tradition here, as a Bridesmaid or Best Man you have one of two choices. Either accept, or turn down the  honor.   As a bride you also have choices. The dress vs. the friend or family member standing beside you.  Even then,  what happens when the dress has already been agreed on by all, is inexpensive,  and all the other maids have already ordered their dresses? It’s  the responsibility of the Bridesmaid or Best Man to  ask questions, state her limitations, and  accept or decline from the beginning. Once in awhile someone will lose a job or face unforeseen circumstances, even after accepting.  That’s a valid reason to drop out.   

 

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