(Closed) Bridesmaid can't afford Bachelorette party – advice?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
ohlookanewbee:  the bride is being a Zilla and just doesn’t want to admit it.  $600-700 at this point really means close to $1000 when you factor in all those unexpected costs.  Plus I’m sure she’s spening money on dress, accessories, etc.  Weddings can get a little wild.  

I wonder if anyone else in the bridal party is having financial troubles about this just hasn’t said anything yet?  Maybe your friend could offer to go, but tell the bride she won’t take part in some of the activities (ie skip the spa day or some other planned adventure and hang in the hotel), or decide on fewer nights than other guests (if that’s an option) just to save some money.  Or maybe that might cause the bride to eliminate one or more planned activites and just allow time to sit at the pool, or wherever you are going?  And if nothing else, maybe your friend just has to step away and say she can’t go.  What can the bride really do?  Budgets really can’t be messed with. Hopefully she will come to her senses and find a more appropriate plan for the weekend. 

Post # 17
Member
1942 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
ohlookanewbee:  I was in her shoes a few years ago… the Bride didn’t give a sh*t if we could afford it or not…. and I was the only one that couldn’t. Fun fact, we had the same job so she knew I couldn’t. I told her I wasn’t going to go and that was it.

The Bride sounds really unreasonable… I gave my girls ideas, I made sure everyone was able to attend. And I even paid for a big portion of the weekend to make it cheaper for the girls. Vegas for almost nothing? Hell yeah!! I’d be there in a heart beat!

Your friend needs to man up and tell the Bride she can’t afford it. That’s it. 

If the Bride gets butthurt…. your friend should reconsider being in the wedding all together. It is clear the Bride does not have your friend’s best interest at heart. 

Post # 18
Member
1782 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
ohlookanewbee:  “The bride has decided she wants to spend a wknd away for her bachelorette party.”

Last I checked the bride didn’t get to decide what she did for her bachelorette party.

It’s totally fine for the Bridesmaid or Best Man to say it’s out of her budget. 600-700 is out of budget for a LOT of people. The bride is being totally unrealistic about her bachelorette party. No way would I pay that. I make $2,000/mo in take-home pay, and $750 of that goes to a mortgage. No way would I agree to that.

Post # 19
Member
876 posts
Busy bee

I think your friend just needs to let the bride know she can’t attend due to the financial burden and if the bride was a decent friend, she’d just accept the fact that your friend will not be there for this weekend. Your friend not being able to afford it isn’t the bride’s issue so asking her to change plans or pick more affordable options wouldn’t be fair to the bride or everyone else going, but the bride should be understanding of the fact that having a most costly bach party means than the RSVP rate will naturally drop.

Post # 20
Member
6532 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
SJKauf:  “I’m sure the bride just doesn’t want to hear complaints about cost… because she’s like paying for the wedding and stuff ya know.”

Ummm well it IS the bride’s wedding so she is more than welcome to spend a ton of money on her own wedding, but expecting others to do the same is really uncool!

Post # 21
Member
13545 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I think it’s pretty jerky  when a bachelorette party is planned without consideration to everyone’s budget. Other than a nice evening out with friends, I think far too many of these  are over the top or in poor taste. Not to mention they are totally optional, not an entitlement. and not even an official wedding related event. Any bride who would hold it against you for not shelling out that kind of money is awful. 

Post # 22
Member
699 posts
Busy bee

I feel so bad for this bridesmaid. She needs to be upfront about it and just tell the bride, and the bride needs to accept it. Plans shouldn’t be made that exclude people. This bride needs to realize that spending time with your friends is more valuable than a “weekend away”. I would much rather have everyone attend than exclude people because of money.

Post # 23
Member
5879 posts
Bee Keeper

$600-$700 for b-party weekend. That’s $*&%#@ ridiculous. She needs to honest and stick to her guns. NO. And this doesn’t even cover the wedding which is the whole damn focus. I swear alot brides have simply lost their damn minds. 

Post # 25
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

Haha my girls and me are all broke 2 are pregnant. My Maid/Matron of Honor asked if we can do a Dave and Busters trip so I can drink if I wanted she would drive .Brides are crazy no a days with there parties. I AM SO STOKED FOR DAVE AND BUSTERS lol 

Post # 26
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

A simple “I love you with all my heart and really wish I could afford to go to your bachelorette party but I’m just not going to be able to swing it.  I hope you can find it in your heart to understand.”  If the bride acts like a beyatch to that then she’s a horrible friend.

The topic ‘Bridesmaid can't afford Bachelorette party – advice?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors