(Closed) Bridesmaid can't control drinking…wants to give a speech….

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
8873 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013



it was weird I asked her out of the blue to be in my wedding

if she thought it was so weird, she should have declined.  but since she didn’t.  you can either say no speech or ask her to not start drinking until after she has given a speech.

Post # 4
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Were you planning on having speeches from anyone in the bridal party? If you aren’t having a best man speech, then just say you’ve decided not to have speeches from anyone in the bridal party. I also couldn’t decide on a Maid/Matron of Honor and truthfully, I’m not usually a big fan of speeches at the wedding. We’ll just have a quick welcome speech from my Future Father-In-Law and maybe my mother. You could also have her do a speech at the rehearsal dinner instead, although I don’t think you should feel any pressure at all, and I’d actually try to avoid her talking since it sounds like she could be unpredictable even without alcohol.

Post # 5
227 posts
Helper bee

I’m not sure you can control when a person drinks… I would be concerned with her drinking despite you asking her to wait until after the speeches. I know a person in my life who would drink despite my requests just because they are in denial that they can’t control it; they would end up being a complete crying depressed mess.

I’ve read so many horror stories about people with similar personality to your friend, and they just really make the day about themselves in one way or another. If she doesn’t fumble with the speech, she may do so elsewhere, especially if she can’t handle her alcohol. 

Then again, she may surprise you and be a saint on your big day. Can you talk to her and mention your concerns? If she cares and isn’t in denial about her excessive drinking, she may just take your concerns for real and try to make you happy.

I suspect that you are trying to hold on to a friendship that is already dwindling though, and the favours and nice things you guys do together before your wedding will not be reciprocated if she gets married. The point isn’t to expect the same in return, but having her as a bridesmaid is already a big honour, and it seems she’s just getting it out of seniority rather than true relationship status. I’d really consider all facets of this wedding and your relationship with her, before bestowing priveledges that you are already questioning. 


I hope for the best though, and always hope that friendships will last! Best~ 


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