Post # 1
My fiances sister is one of our bridesmaids and my soon to be mother in law informed me a few days ago that she is going to change out of her dress at the reception. I’m rather upset by this as she will be the only one of five getting changed, everyone else is staying in the dresses.
I would understand if the dresses were hideousnut they are simple blue floor length dresses that they all decided on. Not to mention the fact that I have paid for them all and not ask for a penny towards.
I don’t know what to tell her, it will upset me if she changes and she will look out of place with the other bridesmaids once she changes. She hasn’t mentioned it to me at all.
What do you think I should do?
Post # 3
Let her know in the nicest way possible that you’d really like for her to maintain the look of the bridal party during the reception because, of course, you are so honoured to have her as a bridesmaid and you wouldn’t want anyone to be confused as to her role in the wedding. Thn emphasise how lovely she looks in the gown (of course, she is prettier than all the other girls when she wears it, you will say) and how you were very much hoping to get some nice photos of all the bridesmaids at the reception dancing in their dresses and that it just won’t be the same if she is not in the pictures.
Post # 4
Personally I would want my BM’s to be comfortable and if that meant changing then I would let her. Just because she said ok to the dress doesn’t mean that she didn;t find it uncomfortable more likely she didn’t want to upset the apple cart. i think once all the formal stuff is over that requires photos then why can’t she get changed?
Post # 5
She was the one that found this dress so I can’t understand why she wouldn’t like it. I just feel that guests won’t notice her if she isn’t wearing her bridesmaids dress at the reception. Very few people are coming during the day and then an extra 150 at night and those people won’t see the dress on her so she won’t be recognised as one of the bridesmaids.
Ive never been to a wedding where they get changed and we are having a very traditional affair. It just makes me feel like she doesn’t really want to be a bridesmaid so I don’t know why she agreed to be. Also the dresses were expensive and I feel sick at the thought that we’ve paid all that money for her to wear it for 2 hours then it get thrown in the back of a cupboard.
Post # 6
For me, it would depend on why she wants to do it. If it’s about comfort, then I think you should be reasonable and let her do it, but perhaps just ask her to wait until after the traditions at the beginning of the night are over (first dance, cake cutting, etc.). If she’s doing it for attention, then I’d probably be less understanding and a bit more forceful about asking her not to do it.
ETA: Actually, I take that back. Trying to figure out her motives probably won’t get you anywhere. Just ask her to wait until the traditions/photo ops during the first part of the reception are over. By then, I doubt you would notice anyway.
Post # 7
Seriously, don’t get yourself too worked up about it. Don’t even bother trying to ask her why she feels compelled to change. Just flat out tell her that you’d appreciate it if she stayed in her bridesmaid dress long enough for the wedding traditions/activities where she’ll be in the photos. After that, you can’t really force her to stay in her dress.
One of my bridesmaids changed late into the reception and I didn’t even notice. As far as I’m concerned, she did her job and stayed in the dress through the pictures, ceremony, dinner, and toasts… that’s all that really matters, right?
@Bridezilla25: Also the dresses were expensive and I feel sick at the thought that we’ve paid all that money for her to wear it for 2 hours then it get thrown in the back of a cupboard.
This is pretty much the reality of wedding and bridesmaid dresses, though. It’s worn for X amount of hours on one day, then disappears into a closet.
Post # 8
I think @Maraschino nailed it. If she wants to change after photo ops, let her, and don’t spend time worrying about it. You’ll have enough going on at your wedding and reception that if one bridesmaid feels like changing, you likely won’t notice!!
Post # 9
She should remain in the dress until all the introductions, toasts, dinner and wedding party dances are over. WTF is wrong with people and who do they think they are?
Post # 10
Not worth getting upset over. I think you could ask her to stay in her dress until the pictures are mostly done and the events are done, but after that, let her do what she wants. And if some people don’t realise she’s bridesmaid because they came late, that isn’t really a big deal.
Post # 11
At a wedding where I was a bridesmaid, one of the other bridesmaids changed at the reception. Mind you, this was back in the 90’s when it was popular to have big pink puffy dresses and this bridesmaid was in her teens whereas the rest of us were little kids.
I don’t think you should let it bother you too much. If she wants to, she wants to. You could always ask her if she wouldn’t mind keeping it on as it obviously means so much to you, but then this could cause friction.
Maybe you could come to a compromise such as she leaves it on until the dancing? Would that be any better?
Post # 12
Also the dresses were expensive and I feel sick at the thought that we’ve paid all that money for her to wear it for 2 hours then it get thrown in the back of a cupboard.
Even if she wears it the whole time it will be what-4 or 5 additional hours? If she wants to change, who cares? She will have stood in front of everyone, and been introduced at the reception….everyone will know she is a bridesmaid. Don’t take this so personally. Maybe there is a guy coming and she wants to wear something sexier-it could be a million things that have absolutely nothing to do with you.
Post # 13
I am allowing my girls to change half way in between if they feel like it.