- 4 years ago
So I am going to try and sum this story up as much as I can….
(A little Background).. I am getting married in June and live in Georgia with my fiance because he is in the military. We are both from Massachusetts, where our families reside as well. So when we got engaged, we knew having the wedding in Georgia (much simpler for us) was probably not going to be able to happen unless we didnt mind a fairly empty wedding. So we decided to plan a wedding so all of our family and friends could be apart of it.
Now onto the bridesmaid drama. I have 6 bridesmaids, 2/6 of them are my best friends. Ive known one longer than the other (but not much) so picking the Maid/Matron of Honor was pretty difficult. I ended up choosing the one I have known the longest just to seem fair. I knew that we couldnt do the traditional “say yes to the dress” for my bridesmaids so I gave them a choice..We could 1) Use a corporate company (david’s bridal) to choose a dress. I could go and pick one out at my location, and have them go to their location together to try them on, or 2) I could pick something out on Etsy that I liked and have them order it online. They ALL agreed that the Etsy idea would be best for them, so I chose one that was $69 because I honestly did not want them to spend that much money on my wedding. I also chose shoes that were $40.
Since I live in GA, planning a bachelorette party and shower seemed obviously very difficult, and I honestly just didnt expect one due to the situation. So when I got an invitation and a plane ticket in the mail from my bridesmaids, I was shocked and estatic! I would be able to have normal wedding festivites even though I live far away 🙂 Everyone said they chipped in for me to get there ($60 each) and they were having my shower at my aunts house, making it a pot luck lunch. It was all very cheap for everyone. All of the plans seemed great. I am really not high maintenance, and was just greatful to be there. We also did my bachelorette party that same weekend and just went downtown. In the midst of planning all of this, the best friend that I did not chose to be the Maid/Matron of Honor (lets call her NonMOH) mentioned that the Maid/Matron of Honor wanted to go to Boston and rent a party bus for the bachelorette party (complaining), but the NonMOH just thought that it was way too much and that we would all just have a great time at our local downtown–I didnt care! I was just happy I was getting one. At the bachelorette party the NonMOH who is sometimes a daddy priviledged brat, was indeed a brat the entire time (at the shower too in front of all of my family). I love her to death, but she has been this way since she was little, but no matter what, never really acts this way towards me-so i was very surprised. She also does not have a Job, and lives with her fiance who is the only income (but dont forget daddy), and she is always crying poverty but has money to go on lavish brunch dates, gets eyelash extentions, and has more clothes than I know what to do with—-I find out that she did not contribute to ANYTHING for my festivities. My fiance dished out money for her contribution to the flight, and the rest of the bridesmaids took care of the entire weekend. This is what she does- she literally cries that she has no money and gets ppl to feel bad for her.–there was even a discrepency at the bachelorette party about one of the bills at a bar!
Did I mention she is also engaged to get married in September? That her daddy is paying for ($30,000)….and I am one of her bridesmaids…That lives in GA
I get an “Invoice” from her Maid/Matron of Honor today telling me how much the shower is going to cost split all amongst her bridesmaids, how much the bridesmaids dress is (a very expensive one), and all of the bachelorette plans and costs. Her Maid/Matron of Honor writes that they are going to Newport (more of a high end location then our local downtown) because the bride, “doesnt want to go someplace boring like our town”, and they are RENTING A PARTY BUS….hmm…exactly what she told my Maid/Matron of Honor not to do.
My fiance and I are paying for our own rinky dink wedding and having to travel there for it (our decision & mistake, i know!), but also having to travel to her festivities, and her wedding in september. I had mentioned earlier that she doesnt have a job and only one income, but so do I. I am a nursing student and my fiance and I are doing the best we can. This whole situation isn’t really about the money tho, I just had to explain all of the money that was being spent in order to get to my point. I am just hurt. All of this really showed me how selfish she really was. I feel like no matter if I am struggling, I want my best friend to have a great time at one of the best times of her life. That was obviously not reciprocated, and I feel very used now contributing to her plans. I know two wrongs dont make a right, and I would be hurting the rest of her bridesmaids by telling them “I was broke” like she did to mine because they would have to pay my way. I obviously cant take all of this out on them, and probably wont.
sorry so long, I just am not sure how to go about dealing with this! Has anyone ever had a similar situation??