(Closed) Bridesmaid date?!? Really….??

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If you give all the other wedding party a +1, you really should give her one.

Post # 4
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t understand your post.  Your Bridesmaid or Best Man wants to bring a guy that you don’t like… but is she dating him or not?

Post # 5
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

If you’re giving everyone else in the wedding party a +1, then you should allow her a +1 too. You can control the amount of people who come to your wedding, but once you give out a +1, you can’t dictate WHO that person brings. Sorry!

Post # 6
Member
46333 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

“we are allowing the participants in the wedding to have an invite because it’s the “right thing to do”

nuff said.

 

Post # 7
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Either you give them all +1s or none, since you aren’t approving the dates of the rest of your wedding party, it would be unfair to you if you did to this bridesmaid. The only thing you could do is talk to her about why you don’t want him there. 

Post # 8
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Well, I’d let her have the +1. You’ve made your feelings clear about her desired date, now it’s up to her. If he shows, I promise he won’t ruin your day. Just in case, you can ask a few trusted burly friends to keep an eye on him to make sure he stays in line.

Post # 9
Member
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If all the other members of your bridal party are getting plus ones I don’t think it would be fair not to give her one, and personally I think you should just let her bring her boyfriend.

Post # 10
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Either you give none of the bridal party +1s or you allow them all to have one. Simple as that. It’s not fair to judge who you think is acceptable to be in other people’s lives. How would you feel if someone didn’t like the man you chose to associate yourself with and because of that they ousted him from invites? Not very fair… I know it would make me really feel crumby if I was in your BMs shoes. I bet in any case you’ll hardly even notice he is there because you’ll be way too busy and caught up in the moment. This is probably one of those things you should try not to stress over considering there will be a whole lot of other bigger things to worry about 🙂

Post # 11
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Let her take whoever she wants. It’s your choice whether or not to give people a +1 and since you are giving your bridal party a +1, then they should be allowed to take anyone they wish.

Post # 13
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

On one hand, I am usually the first person to say that what you do for one you do for all and it’s not your say on who people are dating.  However, I understand that this is a difficult situation.  Future Sister-In-Law was dating a guy last year who was bad news.  Total deadbeat.  I think they were breaking up and making up every month.  If she was still with him for some reason by the time of the wedding, Fiance was going to put his foot down and not allow her to bring him. 

 

Post # 14
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

She is not dating him exclusively… when it’s convenient for him to show up on her doorstep.  (They have never been on a “real date” if you catch my drift…)

If that is the case, chances are he won’t want to be there.  But I would still give her a +1 and just hope he doesn’t show.

Post # 15
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MissHelen: I agree. and I like the ‘burly friends’ bit

Post # 16
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@nixnux26:  Personally I think it’s your wedding and you can still give her a +1 but tell her that you don’t want him there.  She can bring any of the other guys she’s seeing but no one with drug problems.  I mean seriously for all you know he’ll be doing drugs in the bathroom at your wedding then get you all kicked out of there.  I wouldn’t want to deal with it either and I would not allow him to come. If Bridesmaid or Best Man is really your friend she’ll understand that it’s your wedding and you don’t want any problems.

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