- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
I’ve made a fake name here because I want to hide my identity. I’m a fairly frequent poster. Also, I apologize for the novel I’m writing, but I need advice!
I am trying to decide who my final bridesmaid should be. I’ve already got four (maybe five… it will depend on whether my friend who lives across the globe can come or not): Future Sister-In-Law, my two best friends from high school (one of them is the MOH), and FI’s best female friend.
I want to ask my very oldest friend. I’ll call her G. G and I met when we were six months old, and we were best friends from then on. I moved across the country after sixth grade, so we stopped seeing each other as often, but we kept in touch, and I still considered her my best friend up until about college.
In college, we both got busy doing our own thing, and she stopped keeping her blog, which was one of the big ways we had kept in touch. We were still friends, of course, but we had kind of drifted apart. That being said, she’s always been one of the most important people in the world to me, even when we’ve gone months and months without talking.
I was living abroad during her wedding a couple years ago, but I flew back to the States so I could attend. It was the first time I had seen her in person in about six years. My parents, who were also invited, told me over and over and over that I needed to get her something SPECIAL, not just something off the registry. I make ceramics, so I finally decided to give her a full set of matching bowls and cups I had made. They were honestly some of the best pieces I had ever done. I poured my heart out to her in the card I enclosed and told her how incredibly happy I was for her. Her wedding was lovely, but my family and I left early because my parents can’t stay up past about 9:30 and because we didn’t know anyone there except the bride and her immediate family.
That was the last time I saw her. We’ve started chatting a bit more recently, but that’s it. Now I’m trying to pick my bridesmaids, and I want to ask her, but I’m not sure. Growing up, I always always always imagined her as my Maid/Matron of Honor. That’s not the case now, but it’s still hard for me to imagine getting married without her by my side. So I want to ask her to be a bridesmaid, but I don’t know that she’ll want to…
I never got a thank you note for the pottery, but I don’t know if that was because she sent it to my parents’ address and they forgot to forward it to me abroad, or if it’s because she just didn’t write one. I feel so stupid for giving it to her now because I know better now about what to give people at weddings, and I have no clue if it matched anything they had or if she even wanted some stupid pottery. I’m worried that I’ll ask and she’ll think, “You want me to pay for a dress and all that when you couldn’t even get me a decent present at my own wedding?”
And we really haven’t been that close in the past few years. I’m worried she’ll think it’s weird. We’ve been emailing back and forth the past couple of months, and a couple weeks ago, I asked her to give me a call (we haven’t talked on the phone in years… not since before I moved abroad). She said she would, and we started texting after that, but she never did. I asked her again earlier this week; she said she had been busy, but she definitely would when she got some more time. I’m just worried that she’s not that interested in contacting me, and she’ll think it’s weird if I ask her. I was planning to ask her when I got her on the phone.
…She’s my G. She’s the only one I’ve ever had. She was my best friend for most of my life, and she and her family were probably some of the biggest influences I had growing up. Even so, it just feels weird now.
So. Do I ask her?