(Closed) bridesmaid decisions

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i wouldn’t.  i just think you will want a close circle around you that you couldn’t imagine not having there, you know?  but i feel you on the “what could it hurt?” standpoint.

Post # 4
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I included a friend in a similar situation.  We’d been friends for 20+ years, but haven’t been close for many, despite being very close before that.  I thought I would miss her if she wasn’t a part of my wedding.  It didn’t feel right to not include her.  But she’s been uninterested in the wedding and chose to skip my shower and it hurt my feelings more than I thought it would.  I would say don’t include her and just enjoy seeing her at your wedding.

Post # 5
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I have an old friend from High School that I was inseparable from. However, she moved away for six years of college and in that time we have only spoken on the phone around our birthdays and holidays. We never see each other anymore either. I kept going back and forth about whether or not to invite her and in the end I decided against it. My reasons might be different from yours. She chose not to show up to our engagement party so that just made my decision right there… but beyond that, she eloped and chose not to have a wedding party so I didn’t have guilt there. You need to do what you feel is right. Do you think if you looked back ten years after you were married at your wedding pictures, would you ask yourself why you put her in there? Do you truely think you will stay in touch? You just have to ask yourself those questions!

Post # 6
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m going through the same situation. I have decided to kind of use our e-party as like a test, as terrible as that sounds. I feel like if she makes the effort and shows like she said she would (she always flakes on stuff), then I’ll ask her out of respect for our friendship and our history. But I feel like if she flakes… then it’ll be enough to have her at the wedding, and I’ll be more then happy with the girls that I do have in my bridal party.

Post # 7
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think this is a really personal choice.  My husband included his friend who he hadn’t talked to much in a couple of years (they had a fight and had mended things but not been as close), and they ended up hanging out way more and becoming close again.  I think it’s hard to say without knowing you and your friend personally.  I think the best thing to do is think hard about whether this will bring back your old relationship or not, and what you are looking for out of your wedding party before you make your choice.

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