(Closed) Bridesmaid demanding to see her gifts before the wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’d just tell her you’ll be taking back her jewelry and she’s free to get whatever the hell she wants and spend her own damn money on it. Ugh, I had a difficult as hell MoH and she made my life miserable. If I had to do it again, I’d have been much less nice (I, like you, let my girls pick their own dresses that they’d wear again, picked a $20 set of black flats from Payless that they’d all be able to wear again, paid for hair and makeup, etc.) and much more direct with my handling of brats. 

And then I’d pick out something like a clutch or something that fits her personality (or maybe a steaming pile of poop in a brown paper bag) and give THAT to her the day before. I gave all our gifts out at the rehearsal dinner, and I put a lot of work into picking a gift that was the same value for each person, and that fit their personality. I didn’t do jewelry, but if I had and someone had said that to me, I would have told her to get her own and I’d return what I got her, thanks a bunch. 

Psh. Aint nobody got time fo’ brats.

Post # 18
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Honestly it seems like you are having a lot of problems with your Bridesmaid or Best Man mostly related to how everything is communicated. It seems they all think that you are looking for their opinions or that that they get to decide on everything. If it were just one issue that would be one thing, but it seems like you talk to them, they give an opinion, and then you are here complaining about their opinion.Maybe it is time to look at how exactly you are phrasing things. Try presenting things like a decided fact or not talking about it at all with them.

Post # 20
Member
1633 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

OP, wedding day jewelery is not a gift if the person wearing it would rather not wear it. Gifts are not forced use.

If you think you are paying too much on your bridal pparty by all means stop. Pay for nothing else- return the non-wedding day related gifts and back out of hair and make up. Let them know as the big day nears you need to cut back. 

Post # 21
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

MrsWinTraining2014:  I am sorry that is what you got out of my post. I think by being more direct in these situations it would save you a lot of frustration.

Post # 24
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

 

MrsWinTraining2014:  that is so rude. I think this girl needs to get her head out of her ass and realize it’s not her day it’s yours. shes not paying for any of it and like i said the day isn’t about her. what some people have the nerve to say.

Post # 25
Member
47190 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s reasonable that you pick out their wedding day jewelry as you are paying for it. Like any other part of their outfit, it may or may not be to their taste.

There have been many threads about the practice  of using anything that the BM’s are required to wear to the wedding, as their gift.

Post # 26
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

CurlyCue:  +1. None of the things you mentioned (shoes, jewelry, hair/makeup) are actually gifts if you are requiring them for your wedding. A gift should be selected based on the giftee’s interests and personality. But the bride isn’t required to buy gifts for her bridal party.

I’m not saying your friend isn’t being obnoxious, but who cares what jewelry your bridesmaids wear? This is not a battle I would fight.

Post # 28
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

MrsWinTraining2014:  But they wouldn’t “normally have to pay for” shoes, jewelry, and professional hair/makeup selected by you. Those are things that you are requiring, not things they would otherwise purchase because they want or need them.

Post # 30
Member
963 posts
Busy bee

I would have been tempted to just say “Oh, okay, well, you can choose your own jewelry then and I’ll take your gift back to the store.”

Rude. I am so sorry you have to deal with that. I probably would reconsider the jewelry and not get her any gift.

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