(Closed) bridesmaid dess shopping etiquette

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
46607 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

scarlettbegonias87:  Clearly your sister and you don’t share the same definition of fun.

Include your sister in emails, texts- however you are making arrangements for the shopping expedition. If se doesn’t show up, the other BM’s get first dibs on the style of their choice. After they have made their choices, let your sister know which dresses are off limits for her, and then drop it. Tell her to send you the receipt when she has purchased her dress and you wil reimburse her.


Post # 3
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

How many bridesmaids do you have?  If your sister and two bridesmaids live in the same city, can you go to a David’s Bridal near them?

Post # 4
7679 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

scarlettbegonias87:  I can’t comment on your sister’s other behaviour, but 3 hours car pooling with 2 of my sister’s friends isn’t my idea of fun. So I’d drop that suggestion. And some people don’t like group shopping trips in general.

You can’t force her to go, but since you’re buying the dresses, you do control what happens. I suggest you tell her the shopping trip is on X date, and if she doesn’t want to go, she’ll need to tell you what she wants by a certain date, or you’ll pick one yourself. (And since you’re buying, you’ve got right of veto over anything she suggests).

p.s. As for etiquette – if you’re paying, you choose. In fact I think etiquette says the bride chooses even if she’s not paying. But in my opinion she’s not obliged by etiquette to go on a shopping trip to help pick the dresses.

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