(Closed) Bridesmaid didn't acknowledge shower :(

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 34
Member
77 posts
Worker bee

If I were you, I would be upset too..I think she’s a bad person and I wouldn’t really be her friend anymore. How unconsiderate of her to do that..what’s wrong with her? Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how much you do for someone because when it’s your turn they would never do the same for you..

Post # 35
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

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amoore2:  I’m probably in the minority here.  But I agree with you.  I feel you have every right to be upset. You’ve had 22 years of friendship with this woman, and you know the type of person she is.  If it seems odd for her not to acknowledge the day then you should tell her your feelings are hurt. If she is as your fiance says, then I wouldn’t think too much of it and just let it go.  Do what’s right for you!

Post # 37
Member
77 posts
Worker bee

One thing I forgot t ntion..I would of expected a phone call too maybe not with “Happy Shower Day” but “Have fun Girl!!” She is very inconsiderate..

Post # 38
Member
7396 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

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amoore2:  I think you need to let it go, it’s a non issue. I had a few BMs not make my shower(s) and not a single one sent a gift or wished me a “happy shower day”. I mean, really? I get that your feelings might be hurt, but you have to remember that your wedding is not important to anyone but you (and your spouse). I don’t mean that in a harsh way, because MY wedding was only important to ME and my DH. It’s not a slight against my friends, they were certainly happy to me and involved but their lives did not stop because of my wedding and I would never want them to. I am 100% against this tought that your bridal party needs to shell out money for silly events. I didn’t even want parties or showers but my BM’s and family insisted. I certainly would not expect an Out of Town bridesmaid to send a gift when she’s probably already shelling out $$$ to attend the wedding.

Post # 41
Member
849 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m going to pitch in on the minority side as well, and say, while not EXPECTED, it would have been nice. This isn’t just some bridesmaid, this is one who may even think she is the honorary maid of honor… she’s your best friend. The most important one, besides your sister.

I agree and know that our weddings are never as important to others as they are to us, but I think you’re not upset about her acknowledging your wedding or your shower. I think you’re hurt she didn’t acknowledge your FRIENDSHIP.

I had a similar situation with a Bridesmaid or Best Man who has been a longtime best friend, also probably thought she would be a “second” Maid/Matron of Honor. When I got engaged, her attitude towards me shifted a bit and she didn’t seem too interested in hearing about my wedding at all. I guess you just imagine your closest friend being excited for you, like you would be for them. She ended up being out of town the weekend of my shower, too. BUT… guess what? She sent me several gifts, and a lovely note saying she wished she could have been there. That made me feel so much better. Not because I wanted gifts or all the attention on me… Because she was doing what a friend would do.

I think that’s all you really wanted here.

Post # 42
Member
849 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

By the way — the Bridesmaid or Best Man I mentioned before was wonderful the weekend of my wedding. She pitched in wherever possible and I felt very supported. I wasn’t actually expecting this, given her level of interest prior to the day. 

I hope things work out similarly with your Bridesmaid or Best Man.

Post # 43
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

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amoore2:  On behalf of your friend, I’m very sorry you feel the way you do.  Best of luck to you!

Post # 44
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

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whitemochi622:  Very well-said. I think you’re right, this is just what OP probably felt. 🙂

Post # 45
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

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amoore2:  Well, unfortunately there are a lot of people who don’t think like that. She is a mother of 3. Her hands are full. I don’t think you should be this upset about it because I do not think this was a diss on your friendship. I get that she’s been your friend since you guys were 6, but not everyone grows up to have the same expectations.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by  MrsWoods47.

The topic ‘Bridesmaid didn't acknowledge shower :(’ is closed to new replies.

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