(Closed) Bridesmaid Didn’t Get An Invite. Rude?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Sounds like a clerical error or something.

For instance- I forgot to put my parents on the seating chart!  Obviously they were coming, I just so took it for granted that I forgot about them.

Also- perhaps the person addressing the envelopes didn’t know all the guests and didn’t realize?

Post # 4
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Um, WHAT? I would DEFINITELY bring it up to the bride. Ask her if she intends to list you as “Guest” on the program. 😉

Post # 5
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh, I would have FLIPPED OUT.  That’s so rude!

 

Post # 6
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

burned, totally!  you could mark the reply card as such. Mr<span style=”text-decoration: underline;”>. Ryan and Guest and see if they notice. 

Post # 7
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

That’s weird, but I wouldn’t go crazy about it – you ARE in the wedding party, after-all!  I’d mention it to the bride – in an almost joking fashion to see what she says.  It’s an obvious goof – and I can’t imagine it was intended as a stub of ANY fashion.  

Post # 8
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2010

That’s really weird, I’d talk to the bride, hopefully it was just a mistake that they didn’t catch.

Post # 9
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Agree… Hopefully this was a clarical error. I would definaly ask the bride about it. But i’d find a tacktful kind of joknig way to ask about it. Maybe start by asking hwo she managed to get everything accomplished. Maybe ask if she had help with things like addressing their invites. Just that alone may clarify what happened. If she had people help who didn’t know the situation.

Post # 10
Member
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Well … I sent out invites just as one of fiances cousins got engaged .. so they got theirs and it said __(and guest)__ for the fiance. Ooops. Wait. You’re the bridesmaid and they sent the invite to your fiance?

Post # 12
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Accidental error or not, this is a definite reminder to triple-check everything, because feelings can get hurt over stuff like this.

Last year, my (first) cousin got married and we all got our invites in the mail.  My sister’s was addressed to Katherine.  My sister’s name is Katie, it’s the name on her birth certificate and the name everyone has always called her.  Even if he was unsure, a two-second phone call to my mom would have confirmed it.  He blamed the bride and her family (they did the invites) but my sister definitely felt badly about it.

Post # 13
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m willing to be it was a definitely unintentional error. Did she have someone else do the calligraphy on her invites? It could be that the file was just missing you since she obviously knows you’re coming! I’d give her the benefit of the doubt on this one 🙂

Post # 14
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Is she super-involved in the wedding? It sounds like the kind of mistake that would happen if she handed the guest list off to her parents to address or something… which is way more common outside of the Weddingbee world. I wouldn’t worry about it, although some joking about it would certainly be acceptable.

Post # 15
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ew I’d be so annoyed. Then again, I probably would have politely declined to be a bridesmaid for a self-centered girl I had only met three times. You are clearly much nicer than I am!

Post # 16
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Not sure about your Fiance + guest thing, but I was Maid/Matron of Honor in a wedding last spring, and was adamant that the bride did not need to send me an invite.  She was inviting pretty much everyone she ever knew, so I told her to use it on someone else – I mean I clearly knew I was going to be at the wedding and I knew all the details.  Unless someone wants to keep the invite for sentimental reasons, which I didn’t, I just don’t get it! LOL  But that’s just me     =)

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