- 5 years ago
- Wedding: January 2014
Not sure what to do!!! Sorry this is long.
A little background here. A very good friend of mine has been going through a lot this past year. Her company went bankrupt, lost her job, custody battle with her ex, etc etc. I’ve done nothing but be supportive as a friend, she slept on my couch for a month, my fiance would drive her to places if she needed a ride. Basically, we have been there for her and I’ve been trying to help her.
When I asked her to be a bridesmaid last year, her financial situation and living situation is a lot different than it is now. When it came to purchase the dresses, I told her that I would love for her to be in the wedding but I understand if its too much for her, financially and everything else. I said I would still like for her to be a part of my day whether she was a bridesmaid or not. Her daughter is also my flowergirl. She said no, she still wants to, and is getting 4 months of back unemployement should be back on her feet soon. Dresses needed to be ordered ASAP so I put the deposit down for her since she was going to give me the money (bad bad bad on my part).
Anywho, all of my bridesmaids threw me my shower. This particular bridesmaid was not really part of the planning I guess but I didn’t know too much about it. My sister told her to come on the day of the shower to help set up, etc. and she can give her share of the funds that day. On the day of, she was MIA. Some of the girls asked if she knew it was today and I said yes, because I spoke to her last week and asked her to bring her daughter’s flower girl dress to the shower so my aunt can add crystals to it. She kept changing the subject (red flag that the dress has not been purchased yet).
So she never showed up to the shower, all of the girls had to pay more money because of her and I don’t feel that is right. At least if they got a heads up!! She did not contact anyone to let them know she wasn’t coming. Even if she called my sister and let her know her situation (no money). We would of rathered have her there than be a no-show.
On Facebook all day, she was posting about the football game.
I emailed her and asked her why did not come and this was her response:
“Because I have zero money and I feel like a fuckin loser BC I can’t afford the dinner or a gift… My dad was supposed to lend me it yesterday, but didn’t. So I fought with him last night, which turned into my mom fighting with me and refusing to help with madi or a ride today…. Trust me when I tell you I feel like the biggest douchebag… I cried all nite and today.”
I didn’t respond. Maybe an apology would have been nice? What do I do? I don’t feel this is friendship-ending but I don’t think its respectful to the other bridesmaids, my sisters, to have her in the wedding after she did that to them too.