(Closed) Bridesmaid Dilemma

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
793 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would say choose who you really want beside you. If you include her just because you feel obligated to, it might end up causing more problems than not asking her. Friendships can change a lot in two years, so if you’re not as close, go with your gut and choyour the girls you really want!

Post # 4
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Coopsie:  No. You should never have someone in your Bridal Party because you feel obligated. I have a feeling a lot of Bridesmaid or Best Man drama is because you have the obligatory BMs, not the “I want” BMs. If she asked you to be her Maid/Matron of Honor because she expected you to return the favor, then that’s on her.

She could just be wanting to be a part of your wedding process because you did so much for her she feels that she wants to “repay” you. That could explain her sudden reappearence. Don’t worry about it. Is she the type to get upset over things like this? If not, I wouldn’t expect her to be angry.

Post # 5
8471 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I second jazzy. 

Post # 6
1106 posts
Bumble bee

I say no to being a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but you could have her do a reading or something else if you want to include her in some way.

Post # 7
12 posts
  • Wedding: January 2014

Yeah, I agree…having her do a reading would make her feel included and you can still have who you want as bridesmaids.  You shouldn’t feel obligated to have certain people beside you at such an important event.  Plus, then you’d probably feel bad for the girl you are closer to that gets ousted in order to include this other girl.

Post # 8
2226 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I agree with the pp’s. It’s a crazy expectation to have. You ask who you want to be in your bridal party.

Post # 9
28 posts
  • Wedding: April 2014

I had a similar situation with a friend of mine who’s wedding I was in. And she would push and push and expect me to ask. I asked her to do a reading. Explained to her that the friendship is different than when I was in her wedding, but I still wanted her to be part of my day. 

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