Post # 1
I met my good friend about 3.5 years ago when we started working at the same place, and we went through a lot of trainings together. She started dating my fiance’s brother and about 6 months after starting working for our company, she introduced me to my now fiance.
My friend and I are close, but I have a lot of family members and close friends that I’ve known since I was a baby. I already have 7 bridesmaids, and when I was telling my future Mother-In-Law that I was not going to have my friend in the wedding party, she started crying and telling me I needed to have her in it.
My friend and her boyfriend (my fiance’s brother) are on the rocks. I’m sure that they won’t be together for much longer because it is apparent to everyone that they are both miserable. I’m not sure that we would be close after the break-up, and I don’t want to look back at pictures of my bridal party and say, ‘Hey, I wonder what she’s doing?’ Since my fiance and I got engaged, everytime I see her she cries and says she wants the one to be married, and I feel uneasy talking to her about anything wedding related because I feel like she thinks I’m rubbing it in her face, My friend, although I love her, drives me NUTS, She thinks she is a wedding planner, but is very naiive when it comes to cost, etiquette, or understanding that the wedding is not about her.
I don’t know what to do, since my conversation with my future mother in law, I feel like I am being incredibly selfish for not having her in my wedding. I worry that if I don’t invite her, my future Mother-In-Law will resent me and there will be friction in our relationship.
Post # 3
One thing I learned is that you can’t worry about hurting feelings. It is your day and you need to make sure you feel special. People will understand – especially if you have lots of family. Don’t feel pressure to do anything you don’t want to do to make people happy. They all just want you to feel special.
Post # 4
hmmm… tough one. Considering the state of their relationship, and your feeling that most of your connection now is via your FI’s brother, her Boyfriend or Best Friend, AND the fact that your wedding isn’t this summer, but 2013…. I’d say trust your instincts and not ask her to be a bm.
If she’s still a friend that you want to invite as a guest, go ahead! but you don’t need to decide that until NEXT year at least. and then you’ll see what has happened and how your friendship has grown or changed.
Post # 5
Have you asked anyone to be in your wedding yet? Your wedding, if the date is correct, is a long way off. You don’t need to ask anyone yet. That, and most people (myself included) recommend waiting until you’re 6-9 months out. It helps relationships solidify. A lot of the posts on here complaining about bridesmaids come from people who think they should’ve waited to ask or felt pressure to ask someone.
Seriously, try to wait it out and see what happens.
Post # 6
I agree with Kewii! I’m still in the planning process for my wedding, but one thing I wish I would have waited on is asking my Bridesmaid or Best Man right away. It’s amazing how relationships change over the course of a year. Maybe wait till closer to when it’s time to pick out Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses to ask the girls. If you feel this girl should be apart of your wedding just maybe not a Bridesmaid or Best Man, maybe you could consider her for a personal attendent? Good luck on your decision! And remember it’s your wedding. You should be doing what makes you and your fiance happy not what makes everyone else happy.