Post # 1
I have a bit of a situation and I could really use your opinions!
Back in December I asked my best friend to be my Maid/Matron of Honor my sister to be my Bridesmaid or Best Man and my FBIL’s girlfriend to be my Bridesmaid or Best Man. All was going well, we had an even number of groomsmen and bridesmaids and then my Future Brother-In-Law and his girlfriend broke up.. ugh! So she gave him back all his stuff including my gift that asked her to be my bridesmaid and he got rid of it all.
Flash forward a couple months and now they are back together! They were dating for almost 3.5 years before they broke up and now seem to be doing well now that they’re back together. It has taken us a little while to get back to how it used to be and now we’re discussing wedding planning, coming up with ideas and going out.
I just feel so awkward now.. my Fiance is now only having two groomsmen and I am only having two in my bridal party but now I feel so weird not having her in my party because I had previously asked her. But I am also concerned if they were to break up again closer to the wedding which would screw up some stuff, or after the wedding, and then I would have her in all our photos and I don’t really want that either.
I guess I just don’t know what to do. Do I leave it be and include her in bridal showers and bachelorette parties but not the bridal party? Or do I ask her again and risk another break up in the future?
I just feel bad and very confused 🙁
Post # 2
Wilson2Bee: If I understand it correctly, she (not you) decided she was no longer a bridesmaid (by returning the stuff). Since she resigned of her own accord, I don’t see why you’re obliged to ask her again.
You can certainly include her in pre wedding events like the bachelorette, though.
As an aside, I don’t think it was a good idea to ask her in the first place. I saw a recent set of photos with the bride’s brother’s ex as a bridesmaid. They were all smiles but I couldn’t help but think it must have been awkward.
Post # 3
aussiemum1248: Yeah she gave it all back when they split up, which I understand, she assumed she wouldn’t be included when I am marrying her ex boyfriends brother.
Yeah she was mentioning things about the bridal shower and asking when it was going to be and I told her she would be invited, I just wasn’t sure if it was cruel to invite her when she no longer has a role!
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
Wilson2Bee: I doubt it. She’ll understand, I am sure. I am also certain that she wouldn’t expect to by Bridesmaid or Best Man again. It sounds like she just wants to have a part, but not necessarily as a Bridesmaid or Best Man. If she is asking, then don’t worry about it. Uunless you are more worried about it being awkward for you for her to be there.
Post # 5
laceydoilies: I hope you’re right! I would love for her to feel included, just unfortunetly not in that role..
It wouldn’t be awkward for me to have her there, I just wouldn’t want to be the reason someone feels awkward or upset, if she does feel that way I do not know!