(Closed) Bridesmaid dilemma

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

Invite the girl! Seems like a no-brainer. You could even say that you were having all your bridesmaids out to thank them for all the work they’ve done, and realized that it wouldn’t be right if she wasn’t included and you really appreciate all of the help she’s given you.

Post # 4
Member
8727 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I wouldn’t invite her just because it might make her feel like she is good enough to do everything that a Bridesmaid or Best Man does but not good enough to be recognised publically as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

Take her out to lunch seperately as a thank you.

Post # 6
Member
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@j_jaye:  I agree with this. Whatever your reasoning was, she still isnt a bridesmaid. I would take her out separately.

Post # 7
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

I agree with what the other girls are saying, and maybe taking her out separately is a good idea, but I would for sure thank her in your speech at the reception, at least.

Post # 8
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Don’t refer to it as a bridesmaid luncheon and invite her.  It sounds like you’re close to her anyway so there is no reason not to have her there to thank her for her help.  🙂

Post # 9
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

You know her personality better than anyone.  It already sounds like she’s pretty cool about the whole thing if she’s been helping you with advice and crafty things.  If she was really hurt about not being a bridesmaid, she probably wouldn’t be helping as much as she is.  But if you think she’d be offended or feel left out, taking her to lunch separately might be best.  …On the other hand, it might make her feel like more of a misfit; especially if she knows the other girls well and the luncheon immediately follows the activities.  She might feel “booted.”  I know your wedding is coming up fast, but is there another small part she could play? My friend asked me to read a poem in her ceremony.  I wasn’t a bridesmaid, but still felt special and included. I like @_Adelaide_’s idea of thanking her at the reception, too.

 

Post # 10
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

ABSOLUTLEY invite her to the luncheon. Even if you haven’t made her an official bridesmaid, it is a nice way to honor her and say thank you for the help she’s given you. From what I understand regarding a bm luncheon, you can invite anyone who has helped you, been there for you, etc. Don’t over think it!

Post # 11
Member
847 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

@AquaRhapsody87:  Mmm…this is kind if a difficult one. I’m guessing she’s a good friend of yours, and if you invite her then it’s definitely going to highlight the fact that she’s not a bridesmaid and could make things awkward. If you guys are talking about the wedding (which I assume you WILL be) then she might feel a little left out and intrusive or not really have anything to say. If I were invited to someone’s bridesmaid’s brunch and I wasn’t a bridesmaid I would feel confused and pretty awkward about going and probably decline. 

I highly doubt she’ll see it as a slight that you didn’t invite her, but it might make things weird and unenjoyable for everybody. I think like a box of chocolates from a nice chocolatier and athank you  card are the classier option, and a better present than an awkward brunch you don’t feel like you should be a part of. 

And yeah, you might want to take her out for lunch seperately as well like other PPs suggested. A small token of your thanks and a nice meal would really show her what she means to you. 
 

Post # 12
Member
847 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

@AquaRhapsody87:  If you invite her then it might highlight that you chose another four girls over her. 

Post # 13
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would invite her to a separate luncheon with just the two of you. She might feel uncomfortable if she attends the Bridesmaid or Best Man luncheon. I know I probably would. 

The topic ‘Bridesmaid dilemma’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors