- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
Long story as short as possible…
Fiance wanted his son and 3 best friends as his Groomsmen. I had chosen my 3 sisters as my BMs, naturally, but I had to find a 4th maid to even it out. We thought about it for a bit and could only agree on the oldest daughter of a close friend who lives about 50 miles away. The family and I have been friends for years and recently had been having dinner together almost every Sunday night for several months. The girl (who is 16) was thrilled when I asked her to be my bridesmaid. She was helpful, enthusiastic about finding dresses and generally showed interest in the wedding planning.
One weekend we couldn’t get together for some reason and then, it just stopped altogether. Each week it was something. Someone had to work, someone had other plans, etc. It’s been about 3 months since we had dinner together and really haven’t talked otherwise. I texted the father tonight (they are very sheltering parents) to let him know the planning updates and asked if the new date and time would be a problem for them. He responded “not at the moment”. I told him he would need to be sure because this is kinda important” I also let him know that it was getting pretty close to ordering the dresses. I asked if he still wanted his daughter to be part of the wedding or if they would just rather be guests with no obligations. He said they would still be there, his daughter would still be a bridesmaid and that his wife would still take pictures–(low budget, DIY kinda wedding). But he also said that financially he wasn’t prepared to order dresses now. I suggested that I purchase the dress in exchange for pictures, he asked if we could talk about it the next time we got together…I said no because I know for sure it will be at least 3-4 weeks, if not longer…Or at all… Then I suggested I pay for the dress and he could pay me back when he was able. He then said the dress would be no problem.
I had already made an appointment this Sunday for my sister to pick her dress, so I asked him if the daughter could join us. I told him the appointment would be at a shop close to my home, not at the bridal shop by his house and that the appointment was at 12:30. No response. Mind you, this whole conversation has been through text as we were both working and he never answers when I actually call him. That was at about 5:30. I texted again at 8:15 asking “hello?”. He responded that his daughter would not be able to attend, and should he just take her to the one by his house. My response was “I guess. It makes it very difficult when she is never available to participate. There are going to be showers, rehearsal and parties that she will need to attend so I need to know that you/she are committed to this.” NO ANSWER….
I am really bothered by this. They are always procrastinating, putting things off and doing everything last minute. Now it seems they are blowing me off entirely. I don’t even know what to do. Do I just uninvite her to be a bridesmaid? Do I have an emergency stand-in? Please, bees…help!!!