Post # 1
Hi guys, I need some advice motivating my bridesmaids. I’m having my two sisters and a good friend from college as bridesmaids, and they live all over the country. I’m really struggling to get them to do anything such as like look at dresses for them to wear…I think I’ve been pretty accommodating saying they’re welcome to choose whatever dress they want as long as they are all the same. I’ve asked them a few times if they have found anything they like and have also given them some suggestions for dresses that can be found at chain stores near each of them and have gotten nothing back, and none of them have gone and looked for it/tried it on. I also don’t think any of them have any plans to help me out with a hens party or anything either (which is fine, but it would be nice).
I just sort of feel like I should’ve asked my friends who I live close to as they were super keen to be bridesmaids but I thought at the time the right thing for me to do was to have my sisters and my friend that I have had for a long time. It just seems like they really don’t care or are too busy though.
Do you think I need to be more direct with them? Perhaps I should just pick a dress I like for them and ask for their sizes so I can order it. I was going to pay for their hair and makeup but maybe I’ll just pay for the dresses and tell them if they want to get hair/makeup done they will have to pay for that instead. I so far havent done this because I feel like it’s self-centred of me and they should be able to choose since they are paying for it, but at this rate we aren’t going to have any bridesmaids dresses for the wedding!
Post # 2
Is that right, your wedding is jan 2016? If so, I would just order something. You might not even be able to get something at a bug chain retailer.
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2015 - Backyard
For my wedding, I just chose a color (two actually, and ended up having Maid/Matron of Honor in one color and the girls in the other), and let them pick their own dresses. They all picked knee length so that part was easy. And they all picked dresses that looked good on them. Vs having random dress and all the girls being matchy-matchy and looking Awkward. All my girls chose dresses at David’s bridal which made color matching easy, otherwise I also got a swatch for them if they wanted to shop elsewhere. Seriously, the all-same-dress look is annoying for bridesmaids, impractical, and doesn’t look as good in photos as you would think.
Post # 4
Order a dress, they all seem far to ambivilant to take action. It was traditional for the bride to pick anyway. If you want, arrange a small party out with them when they are in town for the wedding.
Post # 5
Yeh that’s a good point, I’m also happy for them to pick different but coodinated dresses (and have told them this in the past as well) but got no progress. I thought we might go with the same dress at a regular clothing store (rather than coordinating proper bridesmaid dress at a bridal store) because I live in Australia and bridesmaids dresses are always over $200 and I don’t want them to have to spend that much on my wedding. They could buy online but then you never know if they are going to fit, and alterations cost more money.
Post # 6
At this stage I say just buy their dresses for them. I reckon do a ring around so you can ask for their size to avoid any more procrastination on their part. Agree with your strategy re: paying.
One of my two BMs is dragging her heels for our April wedding. I’m considering just buying a dress and having it posted to her to save myself the hassle of continuing to chase so I feel your pain x
Post # 7
Yeh I think I’m going to do this – I might give it a week because I just sent them a new message about it, but after a week I’ll just tell them that I’m going to buy them (and then not offer to pay for hair and makeup). Goodluck with your bridesmaids as well.
Post # 8
Yeah I was going to suggest one last chance too so that’s perfect. It’ll all work out x
Post # 9
Your wedding is in less than a month? How are you not freaking out? If two of them are your sisters, there’s no need to tiptoe around them, right? Be real with them – say you’re not responding to me and it’s really hurting my feelings / pissing me off, whatever.
Less than a month, this should have been figured out by now.
Post # 10
If your wedding really is next month, I would just order them at this point.
Post # 11
loudsilence99: SaraJeanQ: ahartig:
no no don’t worry my wedding isn’t in jan, I still have time! Just when I made my account I hadn’t set a date so I put Jan 2016 on my account.