Bridesmaid Dilemma–Help!

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
7848 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Asking someone to be a part of an intimate group such as your bridal party out of guilt rarely works out well for either the bride or the individual. 

Post # 3
2346 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

View original reply
ccbee2019 :  Does she not have many other friends? You probably should have declined when she asked you, but I guess it’s too late for that unless you’re considering stepping down.

I personally wouldn’t want anyone other than my closest girlfriends being in my wedding, I can’t imagine having someone I hardly know anymore so involved in my wedding.

Post # 4
2976 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

Absolutely do not ask her to be in your wedding party  out of some sense of guilt or obligation.

It’s strange she asked you to be in hers and honestly, I’d tread carefully… if you’re not very close and she asked you to be her Maid/Matron of Honor there may very well be reasons why she doesn’t have any other close female friend to ask…..

Post # 5
3 posts
  • Wedding: February 2019

You can’t just ask someone to be your bridesmaid out of obligation, or to return the favour.

I would refuse the offer, wish her the best of luck, tell her that you have too much on your plate and can’t really take time off.

Post # 6
522 posts
Busy bee

No, dont ask her! 

How much of a time difference is it between when she gets married and you do? Is there a way you could say you havent picked any yet to spare her feelings while you help her with her wedding until she gets married? If that makes any sense?


Post # 7
64 posts
Worker bee

I dunno I would ask her. What is one extra person? Especially one that obviously considers you one of her closest friends (if not her closest friend). I was in this situation for my wedding (one friend who I was not that close with asked me to be her Bridesmaid or Best Man and I felt I should ask her to be in mine). It worked out perfectly. She was such a sweetheart and so happy to be included. She was amazing during wedding planning and the wedding, and the whole experience brought us so much closer. 

Up to you but I would ask. Sometimes investments in friendships pay off.

Post # 8
877 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I would not ask and to be honest I am unsure why you said yes to her, while its a sweet gesture I would feel really uncomfortable playing such a big role in someones wedding who I considered a casual friend

But if you already said yes and want to be her Maid/Matron of Honor thats totally cool however you do not need to ask her to be in yours


Post # 9
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I wouldn’t. There’s always going to be hurt feelings no matter what you do. My whole bridal party was family only with 1 person exception. I wouldn’t bring it up to her. Its not being totally straightforward but it may be best for her to handle her feelings privately if shes that sensitive.

Nevertheless, there were hurt feelings in hubby’s extended family when I asked one female from his family to be on my side of the bridal party (I had 3 girls including MOH). Not sure why when there is 0 relationship with these people. Mother-In-Law tried to convince me to include random family members boyfriends and girlfriends to have more people… uh, let me think… NO

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