(Closed) Bridesmaid dilemma with less than 2 months to go!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What to do with this flaky bridesmaid?
    Ask her to step down as BM or give her an "out" to do so : (2 votes)
    11 %
    Call her and tell her I am upset : (5 votes)
    26 %
    Email her (as she did) and don't overreact...just make sure she will commit to the wedding still : (10 votes)
    53 %
    Other : (2 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    4770 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’d call her and don’t overreact…just make sure she will commit to the wedding still.  Yeah it sucks that she is skipping your shower but people also need thier lives.  I’d be annoyed and hope she’d help the other BMs finnancially.

    Post # 4
    2755 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’d just email and make sure she’s coming to the wedding. End of the day, being there the day of your wedding and standing up with you is all you can expect out of her – the rest is just icing on the cake. I’ve been there before as the flaky Bridesmaid or Best Man and I know it’s hard for you, the bride, to cut someone slack when you’re SO focused on your wedding and eveything turning out perfect… but people have messy lives, and sometimes you just gotta let things slide. If she matters as a friend, maybe explain to her that you’re a little hurt but don’t overdramatize it.

    The rest of your BMs will be at the shower, yes? So no biggie ๐Ÿ™‚

    Also – I have extreme phone anxiety and prefer email to the phone 10 times out of 10. So maybe she’s like me and felt email was the best way to make sure you got all the info from her in a sensical manner?

    Post # 5
    279 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    You currently have 1 vote for every possible option — seems unhelpful.

    Personally, I believe in the power of actually talking. Not emailing, but (if you can’t be face-to-face) getting on the phone and have a truly honest conversation about what’s going on. If you’re on the phone, you can get a better idea of what SHE wants (does she want an out?) and she can understand better why it’s upsetting you. There’s a lot more communication and hoensty available when you actually hear someone’s voice. If this is a friend then honesty an openness trumps the carefulness that you can get from email.


    Post # 6
    1652 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    She might have emailed because she was a bit nervous of saying it over the phone.

    I think she will still come to the wedding but is just not able to commit to being much more involved than that/not so into the wedding process. Don’t worry ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 7
    1966 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I would be super annoyed & I’d call and see what her deal is. Make sure she’s going to be at the rehearsal & wedding & let her know if its too much for her she can come as a guest. Quite frankly this is unnecessary stress. 

    The topic ‘Bridesmaid dilemma with less than 2 months to go!’ is closed to new replies.

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