(Closed) Bridesmaid dilemma

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: How should I ask?
    Continue to try and get them all together and have it be a fun event : (1 votes)
    5 %
    Ask each seperately, but this can not easily be done in a close time frame : (6 votes)
    29 %
    Send the notes and scrapbooks out to each girl, so they all get them at the same time : (14 votes)
    67 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    It would be a fun surprise for them to get in the mail- either way they’ll be happy. Ask each of them individually and then plan a celebration later.

    Post # 4
    Member
    21 posts
    Newbee

    I think it would mean more to them if you asked them personally, or sent them the scrapbooks.  Asking them in a group setting would seem a bit impersonal, and you want to honor them by asking them.  Unless, of course, this is a tight group of friends.  My bridesmaids came from all different areas of my life, so asking them in a big group would have been very impersonal b/c they didn’t know each other well.

    Post # 6
    Member
    626 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Maybe if you try something a little less formal it would be easier to get them together.  Call them each personally and invite them to dinner Friday night (this way no one else finds out).  Make them a big dinner, buy a few bottles of wine, and ask them all as a toast before dinner.  I think your idea to tell them as a group is great and I am super impressed by the scrapbook idea.  If you give them all to them together at the beginning of the night you can sit around for the rest of the evening drinking wine, eating good food, and going through the scrap books together.  It would be a great little trip down memory lane.  With no pressure for a busy night it will be easier to get them to commit to coming over and making them a special dinner will be a nice treat.

    Post # 7
    Member
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2008

    I wanted to ask all my ‘maids together, but we were all leaving for vacations and internships and about half of us would be out of town at any given point for about five months.  So, I sent the requests in the mail.  One of my friends (she got engaged a few weeks later) improved the concept by sending each of us a package telling us to log on to AIM at a particular date and time (on an evening during the week when we would all be able to access a computer).  The note was taped on another box within the first one and there was a note not to open that inner box until we received further instructions.  So, we all openend her gift and request at the same time – more or less.  It was great because we do most things together, so it was another shared moment. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    216 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I can’t believe how many great ideas you came up with that got flumoxed in some totally random way! I can understand your frustration–you’ve come up with some pretty thoughtful ways of "popping the question"! I have found that when it comes to weddings, people have a really hard time waiting for the formality (I noticed this a lot with people’s eagerness to know if they were going to be invited to the wedding, my stagette, and other wedding-related activities).  But in the case of bridesmaids being asked, there isn’t really a formal expected way of doing it, so your friends are probably just really eager to get the official title and know that they’re in the wedding.  I don’t think there’s any point in prolonging it further if you’ve already done the scrapbooks, so maybe try the lowkey dinner party option, but commit that if this one last attempt doesn’t work you should just give it up and do it individually.  After all, how much longer can you go on like this??! I couldn’t wait to ask my girls!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1022 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I love your idea but it doesn’t sound like it is going to work out.  It sounds like at this point it would make more sense for you to ask each of them individually and then have a celebratory get together at a later date. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    156 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2009 - Beach Social Hall

    I like the idea of sending each girl a scrapbook and note 🙂 Something they will definitely cherish.

    Post # 12
    Member
    5399 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Wow, you are one determined bride and a lovely friend!  If you can’t get them together anytime soon, just sent them their scrapbooks and I’m sure they’ll love it.  This way you can make sure they are all asked and you don’t have to stress about it anymore.  You can always tell them after what you kept trying to do and I’m sure they’ll still appreciate the many attempted gestures.

    Post # 13
    Member
    487 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception

    I don’t have bridesmaids, but I saw (online) a bride had bought each of her bridesmaids an ugly dress from ebay (think 80s) and got them all together to hand them out to them. She gave them a each saying that she would love it for them to be her bridemaid and she had already bought them their dress. It was too funny.

    I know there are pics of it somewhere….on to search for them

    The topic ‘Bridesmaid dilemma’ is closed to new replies.

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