(Closed) Bridesmaid dillema

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
9755 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

You need to be up front and honest with her. I would also be prepared for it to hurt your friendship.

Am I reading correctly you’re currently in her bridal party or have been recently?

Post # 4
Member
9755 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
kajuniac :  Then it sounds like it doesn’t really matter if she decides to end the friendship with you.

In that case i’d just pick my bridal party and not mention anything to her. If she approaches you about it I would just be honest with her.

Post # 6
Member
1364 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

View original reply
kajuniac :  When it comes around to my own wedding, I feel as if I’ll be in the same situation as you, bee. It’s not easy, especially as a people pleaser, but you need to say no. Having her be a bridesmaid would make you unhappy and likely drama-filled. Pick your bridesmaids, and when she asks about it, but upfront and honest. Say, “I’m sorry, but I’m only having X number of bridesmaids, and was unable to include you in that line up.” If she gets upset, you could explain why you don’t feel close to her anymore (which might increase the hurt feelings).

Just be honest with her, and if it hurts her feelings, so be it. It sounds like you have much more supportive and awesome people in your life! Best of luck 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1746 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I don’t think you need to say anything unless she brings it up.  And then just say sorry, you only wanted the people you’re closest to right now.

Post # 8
Member
3262 posts
Sugar bee

It’s her problem if she’s expecting to be asked. She’s not required to be in your wedding because you were in hers. It’s not tit for tat. I wouldn’t say anything, unless she brings it up. If she does, find a polite way to say that you wanted to ask only so many people, etc.

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