Bridesmaid distant

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Thats a tough one. Its sounding like your Bridesmaid or Best Man isnt wanting to be your friend anymore, for whatever reason. Are you still wanting her to be a BM?

Post # 3
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Have you gotten Sally’s side of the story as to why her and Molly aren’t friends anymore? I doubt it’s just as simple as “I’ve decided after 8 years that she’s annoying.” I’ve been in situations where a friendship falls apart and other people in the group try to pretend that nothing is happening and everyone will be fine and dandy in the same room together, without realizing it’s really difficult for those people. Trying to stay out of it ALWAYS backfires eventually and perhaps it’s her that’s been feeling left out, like you all chose Molly over her? 

Post # 4
Member
9684 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Have you tried contacting just to check in? It sounds like all your contact is about the wedding. Maybe you need to invite her to coffee or something just to chat – make it about your friendship and leave the wedding out of it.

Post # 5
Member
2146 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

if she went to the courthouse it might be for a whole host of reasons, maybe shes on the down low waiting for your wedding to be out the way to plan hers so as not to ‘steal your thunder’ but need legal marriage now

also whatevers between sally and molly has nothing to do with you, I wouldnt go poking the fire because you might fall in and get burned

Post # 6
Member
4498 posts
Honey bee

You don’t have a bridesmaid problem,  you have a friend problem.  Clearly your friend had a lot going on in her life right now and for whatever reason she feels like she can’t share that with you. 

Call her or stop by and visit. Leave your wedding out of it.  She isn’t required to do anything other than buy the outfit you tell her to and show up the day of.  So that can take a backseat for now.  And maybe she just needs some space for whatever it is – happy or sad or just stressful.  If she isn’t receptive to communication right now,  just let her know you are there for her if she does want to talk and give her space.  Maybe the relationship will just fizzle once the wedding is over,  maybe she just wants time and space,  maybe she legitimately dislikes your other friend and is trying to distance herself from group activities involving her. 

Post # 7
Member
232 posts
Helper bee

anonobee17 :  Don’t feel hurt. Some people sneak off and get married and think its quirky or romantic or low key. I am a good friend I go out of my way for my friends and would absolutely do that bc I can’t deal with any hooplah or attention drawn to myself. I just want to be married. I think you need to get down to the bottom of the fight. Was Molly a jerk to Sally? Maybe Sally thinks you and the other Bridesmaids are on Molly’s side. She never wants to talk to Molly again so it would make sense she wouldn’t want to deal with the wedding bc they would have to see each other. 

Post # 8
Member
232 posts
Helper bee

btob17 :  OOH the steal your thunder is completely a possibility. Some brides are catty and mayve she thought you would be mad.

Post # 11
Member
206 posts
Helper bee

anonobee17 :  What is her personality typically like?  I ask because I have never been one to share a huge amount of details about my personal life, even with my close friends; in some ways I feel I may have done what she did without meaning harm.  When I do this I am not trying to be hurtful but sometimes it is difficult for me to divulge information about my personal life simply because I think others won’t care.  Maybe she isn’t being distant, but is this just how she operates in life?

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