(Closed) Bridesmaid doesn't want to get ready with me

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 62
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

EllyAnne:  She sounds very frustrating. And giving you this guilt-tripping, “we’re coming, but we’re losing out on soooo much money” thing is rude. She’s being terrible.

That said, you should completely disengage with her. Tell her when she should be there day of, and then just stop engaging, so that there isn’t even more drama. Have a lovely day of getting ready with your MOH!

Post # 63
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

EllyAnne:  And I wouldn’t blame you one bit for being pissed if she just does a no-show.

Post # 64
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

EllyAnne:  then you need to be firm. I was with my bridesmaids. I said simply, id love to have you as a bridesmaid. the job requires that you purchase a dress from this salon, in this color, in chiffon, in any style you like. You must arrive in town the day before so your present at the rehearsal dinner, you must arrive an an hour before the ceremony for pictures, and you must attend the day after brunch. If you cant do any one of these things, i completely understand and would love to have you as a guest. 

To some extent you need to take initative, blame the photographer, tell her photog wants maids there to get ready together. Tell her you totally understand if she cant do that and dont want her to worry she can simply be a guest. In all likelihood shell straighten up. If she doesnt youre better off with just your Maid/Matron of Honor, who needs to be irritated pn their wedding day?

Post # 65
Member
3875 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

EllyAnne:  Honestly, she sounds like a massive headache, so I would just tell her that you’ll see her just before the ceremony and not worry about having her with you. It doesn’t seem like she wants to be there (for whatever selfish reason she has) and no doubt, she’d just be complaining or dragging down the mood of the whole group the morning of. I would just focus on the girls who DO want to be with you and ARE going to be there to support you that morning and don’t worry about the other one. I think it’s super weird she is dragging her husband with her–my husband would not be coming with me to get ready for a friend’s wedding. I’ve been in a couple of weddings my husband hasn’t and not once did I ever try to bring him along, no matter where we were geographically in relation to the wedding site–you just make it work. 

Post # 66
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

We are all staying at the hotel the night before and will be getting ready together

Post # 67
Member
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

That really stinks. But let her do what she wants to do & enjoy the time with your other bridesmaid getting ready!!! Maybe you could even ask your mom or Mother-In-Law or close cousins or something to join in on the getting ready fun so it doesn’t seem so lonely?

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