Post # 1
My best friend who I have known for years and I had a huge falling out last year and did not talk for about a year. We are slowly coming back to good terms, but she wrote me an email last night saying how hurt she is that she isnt going to be a bridesmaid on my wedding day. We always included each other whenever we used to talk about when we would get married. She was literally in tears when I called her saying how she feels left out, and doesnt feel included. The problem is, my fiance and family including my sister (moh) isnt to fond of her and feels that she has alot to prove to earn my friendship back. Me on the other hand, I would be lying if I wasnt giving it a second thought and considering it. That would make for 6 bridesmaids and 5 groomsmen, which isnt a big deal but i wanted it to all be even. I need advice bees should I ask her to be a part of the wedding, we have been inseparable best friends for years except for the year we werent speaking and I would hate to think that by not asking her i would regret it in the future. On the other hand I dont want to cause any drama or stress.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Post # 3
Go with your instinct (i think!) and include her.
I hate the idea of “earning” friendship back. We all make mistakes and do things we’re not proud of sometimes, right? The fact that she wants to be included tells me her heart is in the right place. Let the past go.
ETA: I realize you’re forgiving her and your concern is more with your family/the other BMs…. but I think if they see you accepting her, they will too. If you have to, you can say something to them like, “I’ve forgiven her; please forgive her too.”
Post # 4
@stillme, thank you so much for your comment and i agree with you on the whole “earning” friendship. I just dont want to look back on my wedding and regret not having all of my closest friends there. It just seems through the whole wedding process someones feelings get hurt..I have already added 1 friend to the bridal party and im afraid by adding another, my friends who know the situation will not understand why she would get to be in the wedding and it will be a domino effect. I guess I am blessed to have so many people want to be a part of my wedding but at this rate i will have 25 bridesmaids
Post # 5
If it truly breaks your heart to think about her not being a bridesmaid, then you should just bite the bullet and ask her. I have had to make a few decisions this way.. it broke my heart to think of having an inside wedding, so even though Fiance is Catholic we will not have our wedding in a church. The other friends/family dont have to like it. They dont have to agree with it. Tell them to be civil, and mention to your friend that these people are hostile to her so she needs to behave herself.
Post # 6
To be honest , she is your friend not theirs. She should have to earn her way in with them. She just needs to be there for you as a friend!
Post # 7
I say go with what feels right.
Post # 8
Wow. This is tough!
I understand how it is to not talk to a BFF. I’m going thur that right now & haven’t talk to my friend for over a year. We were like sisters and its sad because I’m planning my wedding right now.. I sometimes wish I had enough balls to call her. I think you should go with your gut feeling because only you would know what kind of relationship you have with her. If you’rehaving second thoughts then maybe no? As we get older I’ve come to an understanding that people just grow apart. Sad but true 🙁 goodluck with your decision! 🙂