Post # 1
One of my bridesmaids is making the whole dress shopping process absolutely MISERABLE! She complains constantly, doesn’t like anything, especially anything I like and acts like she’s too good for everything. We’ve been friends for 15+ years and she has acted like a spoiled brat on many occasions. I’m so frustrated with her and it really upsets me. If it was just the other girls, we would be having a blast but instead have to deal with her negativitey.
I know I should probably talk to her but I don’t really want to and also don’t kno what to say. My fiance says I need to in short tell her to shape up or ship out. This is NOT the way I saw all of this going 🙁
Post # 3
Let her know you don’t appreciate her negative, b!tchy attitude and she is taking the fun out of the entire process. This is your day. She can act like that when it’s HER wedding, but don’t ruin yours.
Post # 4
That’s really too bad, I’m sorry 🙁
I would be honest with her, but gentle about it. Say that you feel she isn’t being very cooperative about it, and it’s your wedding day that you’d really like to reflect your vision. Say that you’re really sad that you two are such good friends but she doesn’t seem to be enjoying the process and you really wish she would, because she means so much to you. Explain that she may not agree, but at the end of the day it’s your wedding & having her on board would mean the world to you!
Post # 5
Thanks for the adivce. I’m not looking forward to this conversation. We’ve had a few fights and they have been INSANE blow outs where she can’t/doesn’t want to/won’t see my side in anything.
We have an interesting friendship and at many times my fiance has said that I need to cut her out because of all the grief she causes me. At the same time she can be an absolutely amazing friend if she’s in the right mood!
Post # 6
She could be jealous that you are getting all the attention if she is the attention hog type of person or she could be acting out because she feels like she will be losing you as a friend when you get married and can’t cope with the thought. Either way you do need to talk to her and ask what’s going on.
Post # 7
@lindseyl06: She has always seemed to always like all of my attention to be on her. When my fiance and I got together she couldn’t handle the fact that I couldn’t spend every waking moment with her, not like I did anyway.
This has also been the most difficult tragic horrible year of my life, yet she still expects me to pick her up when she is down because she doesn’t have a man in her life
Post # 8
I don’t have time for that mess! That’s why I didn’t ask any frenemies to be in my wedding. Tell her either wear the dress or be a guest. This is suppose to be a happy time. I just wouldn’t ask her to go anywhere else. I am so sorry you are going through this.
My girls are so wonderful. My only Bridesmaid or Best Man that lives in town called me crying because she has been sick really sick and she hasn’t been able to help me with anything. She called crying that she is a bad friend and she should be helping me. I told her if she wants to help me she needs to get rest and be well for my wedding cause I’m going to need her to hold my hair when I get to drunk. Lol
You only have a few more months to go, so try to enjoy it as much as possible.
Post # 9
Aww sorry to hear that. I had a simlar situation with my bridesmaids except I made the mistake that they could choose thier own black dress as long as they sent me a photo of them in it before they purchased it. We set a deadline together and the closer we got to the date one person started arguing that she didnt’ agree to that date and it ws too early to buy a dress. Then another party member bought a dress without my in put and it was too Sexy in my eyes, revealing and tight. She also said something about no undergarments. I invited them all to sample sales, sent them posts on craigslist for dresses and to no avail they were extremely uncooperative. I asked them all to my house after the dress deadline so they could put them on together and I could make sure it would flow and it looked the way I had hoped. People cancelled at the last minute and one of them refused to put her dress on even though she brought it with her.
Let this be a lesson there is a reason everyone goes shopping and chooses one dress. People who I felt were asked to participate in our day as support to me only caused me more greif than I could have imagined. Not sure what part of look for a dress end me a pic ofyou in it make sure it’s classy and then I can say yes or no before you buy it
Post # 10
@Sarabara590: My fiance says I need to in short tell her to shape up or ship out
I agree with him. Tell her you want her to be part of your wedding but that she is adding unneeded stress to your wedding planning.
Post # 11
Tell her tough shit, its not HER wedding, so its YOUR choice on EVERYTHING, if she doesnt want to wear what you want and go with anything else you have planned, then she will have to just settle for a guest.
Post # 12
@Sarabara590: I agree with your Fiance that it is time to cut her out. Having your friendship depend on whether or not she happens to be in a good mood is no friendship at all. Why gamble like that, especially among your bridal party? Have a serious talk with her face to face and if she can’t shape up and starts in with the usual blow-out red flags you’ve seen before, tell her goodbye and walk away. You deserve to be surrounded by only those that truly want to be there for you and to share in your happiness. Anyone else can step aside. So there! 🙂 Be polite but firm.
Post # 13
@Sarabara590: At the same time she can be an absolutely amazing friend if she’s in the right mood!
– But that isn’t a friend….A friend is there for you whatever and whenever and always…not when the mood is right!
Post # 14
@Sarabara590: I would take her dress shopping by HERSELF that way you are in better control of the situation, and if she starts to act out you can say ” look you have seen X number of dresses and can’t make up your mind, plus you seem to be really upset over this process are you sure you want to be in the wedding still”?
Just put it back on her !