(Closed) Bridesmaid Drama

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
7679 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

First mistake: asking older sister to hand out programs. She doesn’t want to. Fine, she doesn’t have to. If people ask why she’s not a Bridesmaid or Best Man, simply tell the truth: she didn’t want to.

Second mistake: micromanaging by asking what she’ll wear. Who cares what she’s wearing? She’s an adult and can dress herself.

EDIT: Oh, you uninvited her? That was a big overreaction, mistake #3.

Call her back, say she’s invited as a guest. And then let her pick her own outfit and let her be.

Post # 4
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

@paula1248:  Agree, on all points.

Not sure if the “retarded” comment was a quote or OP’s words but IMO is a derogatory term.

Post # 5
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think what will solve your problems is not having older sister play any part in the wedding.She seems to be causing all of the drama. You cannot force her to be a part of the wedding as she seems intent on punishing you for something that has nothing to do with you. I think her behavior is selfish. However it would be worst to have her as reluctant bridesmaid stirring up drama and being un-supportive the whole time.

 

Post # 6
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

I read a lot on these boards about brides being concerned about someone acting up and “ruining” their wedding.  At 30+, your sister is old enough to realize that doing something like that would accomplish nothing but embarass her in front of all of her family, and a room of strangers.  I wouldn’t let that fear guide you.

(That said, i don’t have any dramatic people in my life like that. Still, i can’t imagine anyone wanting to look horrid in a room full of people)

Post # 7
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@paula1248:  I completely agree. You offered your sister a way to be in the wedding (as a bridesmaid), and she declined. It’s not your job to run around and find something for her to do; she’s an adult and perfectly capable of making her own decisions.

As Paula said, telling her what to wear was probably overstepping the line too, like I said, she’s an adult, and she probably knows what sort of clothes are appropriate for a wedding and, if not, she’s the one that will look wrong, not you. Uninviting her seems to have been uncalled for, though, so I think you should just apologise for what has happened, invite her as a guest, and go on with your wedding.

Post # 9
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

ps: I can’t imagine most parents would be ok with letting their child be a part of a wedding they are uninvited too.

 

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