(Closed) Bridesmaid drama

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@almost mrs:  I know exactly how you feel…my wedding is 5.5 months away and my cousin has been joking around about getting pregnant and being pregnant for my wedding.  I have a sneaking suspicion that she will be.  

While we may think that certain things may ‘take away’ from our big day, I am starting to think that other people don’t look at it like that.  People keep telling me guests remember the food, atomosphere and music And your dress…with never a mention of something crazy happening at the wedding.  

I am determined to have a perfect day regardless of anyone around me and anyone trying to upstage me, because we are the bride and noone will do that!  🙂

If she is really a drama queen and will be super pregnant at the wedding, I don’t think that it can’t be suggested for her to sit up front and not stand with you.  As for the dress, it was very generous to buy your girls dresses, but if she gets pregnant, you are in no way obligated to buying her another one. 

Good luck!

 

Post # 5
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yes, it would be wrong for you to tell her she can’t be a bridesmaid just because she’s pregnant. But you are also not obligated in any way to pay for a new dress or for alterations o her existing dress that you were generous enough to pay for.

 

Post # 7
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

So now, brides are so important that people have to schedule their family planning around other folk’s weddings?????

Really…. get over yourselves people.

Post # 8
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@almost mrs:  okay…so its obvious you hate and resent this girl – why did you ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in the first place?

Post # 10
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@almost mrs:  

a. how do you know she’s going to get pregnant right away?

b. if you’d already picked out the dresses a few months ago, and she took her IUD out yesterday, is it POSSIBLE she didn’t know at the time that she may be pregnant, let alone exactly how many months pregnant?

c. I find the chances that she is reproducing another human being just to take attention away from you on your wedding to be HIGHLY unlikely.  I think you need to recognize that you are being a little irrational and getting upset over something that isnt even a real issue yet.

d. does this girl know how you feel about her? I cant imagine how sad it would be to be a bridesmaid in a wedding for a bride who hates me… or vis versa.

Post # 11
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Sorry I don’t really have any good advice. Maybe it will take her a little longer to get pregnant and it won’t affect your wedding? 

I just couldn’t stop myself from commenting about her posting baby plans on facebook. This seems to be really common (I saw a “friend” of mine last week post that she’s getting her mirena taken out) Is nothing Too Much Information anymore?! That sort of information should stay between a couple. 

Post # 14
Member
2934 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

Okay. By spending all the time and energy now worrying about what might happen, if she’ll be 9 months pregnant on your wedding day, etc, you are giving her EXACTLY what she seems to be looking for — ATTENTION. Stop thinking about it. Stop caring about it. If she gets pregnant now, she could be on bed rest or in the hospital with new baby on your wedding day, and you won’t have to deal with her at all! Don’t spend a MOMENT worrying about what she’ll wear as a pregnant bridesmaid until 1. she IS pregnant *and* 2. it’s like 8 weeks before the wedding, because you have NO idea what’s going to happen and fretting about it now is a waste of your time and emotional energy. Let it go. Whatever happens, happens. Not giving a crap is the key. Not-worrying is how you come out on top in this situation. Don’t Care, and you have all the power.

Post # 15
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@almost mrs:  SO WHAT?!?!?! She doesn’t have to announce to ANYONE when she’s planning on having a baby. You’re just not that important. Pregnant women are in weddings all the time. My cousin was someone’s Maid/Matron of Honor and she ended up delivering the week after the wedding. Pregnancy isn’t a disability

This world (and that day) isn’t all about you. So what she’s an attention seeker. It appears that you are too. 

Post # 16
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d hardly call a pregnant bridesmaid “drama”.  I think it would be wrong to ask her not to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man if she gets pregnant – this is your family.  BMs are not props to make your pictures look good, so the fact she would be in a different dress should not even be an issue!  Most every dress can be altered to accommodate a baby bump – you just need to make sure she orders it big enough, just in case.  Or, most manufacturers make maternity dresses now so you can order a similar style for her.  

No one needs to put their reproduction on hold to accommodate you for your wedding.  You assuming she’s trying now is attention seeking makes me think it’s you who are attention seeking since you’re so concerned with a pregnant Bridesmaid or Best Man stealing your thunder.  And if she is a Bridesmaid or Best Man and can;t make it at the last minute, big deal!  Anyone of your BMs could get sikc the day of your wedding and not be able to make it. Just roll with the punches. Things WILL go wrong on your wedding day – expect it now and get used to the idea so you aren’t completely shocked and upset about it on your day. 

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