- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
Hey Bees! I’m in a diffcult situation currently and I’m not sure how I should “comfort” either side of the party.
Long story short, my bech party is coming up and recently I talked to one of the BM whom was in charge of restaurants reservations. It seems like she wasn’t sure who was going and what restaurants to go. I went back into my older email I had exchanged with my FSIL (she’s one of the BM), and it listed out whom will be at the party over the weekend (the bech location is close to our area, so some girls choose to go 1-2 days rather than whole weekend). Anyway, so I asked my FSIL if that list is finalized, so I can forward this to my other BM. (Since I’m out of the loop I wasn’t sure about this). Anyway, 10 mintues later she sent me a really angry text saying why the BM is getting me involved..as a middleman. I’m not sure what happened during the planning, but it felt like FSIL wasn’t getting any support from other BMs. At this point, I’m totally fine to help my BM with planning, since she never been a BM before so I’m not expecting her to know exactly what the ‘rules’ are, and I really think those ‘rules’ of keeping the brides out from the party details are a little silly sometimes.
Then my FSIL wants to tell me about the bridal shower, that the BMs don’t want to spend too much $$. Which is totally fine by me since I don’t expect them to spend lots of $$. Either of those BMs (other than my FSIL) had been a BM so I don’t think they know how much to spend. At this point, I really don’t care anymore if we just go to a resaturant and have a causual brunch. I know my FSIL would want to throw something nicer since she likes to plan party, and would want to throw something nice for me. I’m also not sure if she’s also overacting, since sometimes she does get pissed of easily and I really don’t want to have any drama between the BMs. It’s more like she will come back and vent to me about their actions, but I would much much rather she do something a little less so she won’t be stress out.
Anyway, how should I comfort my FSIL and let her know that I want to get involved if needed? Seems like she’s totally against that for whatever reason, and I know there are things aren’t going to be perfect, and I don’t mind picking up the tasks if needed. All I expected the BMs to stand next to me at the wedding and that’s really all I care. I also got the dresses for them so it wouldn’t be financial burden on their end.