Post # 1
After being best friends with one of my bridesmaids for years we now live in separate towns and have grown a little apart but still remain great friends. She now lives with a new room mate who has slowly been replacing me as best friend to my bridesmaid. I spent an hour on the phone crying to my bridesmaid and talking about how I feel about her room mate making me jealous and such. I allowed my bridesmaid to have a guest to the wedding and without asking if it would be okay she texts me and tells me I am bringing ” ___ ” (Her room mate) as her guest. I dont feel like making a drama bomb explode so I just said ok. How should I feel about this? Am I the one being dramatic about her coming? I have never met her before… maybe my friend thinks its okay since we talked about how I feel about her a while back? I dont know, ugh, thanks for the advice everyone.
Post # 3
@crazybride10272012: Hon, while you feel how you feel, classy grown up people don’t necessarily act on their emotions.
Be a classy grown up person, express happiness for your bridesmaid/freind in that she found another great friend.
Post # 4
I think it’s kind of rude that she invited her roommate as her guest without asking you, especially after you told her how you feel about the roommate… I think most people assume that a guest is for a date or a significant other, but maybe that’s just me? At any rate, if you already told her you’re ok with it, I don’t know if you can do much without making it into a big deal. If it’s already a big deal to you and you don’t mind stirring up more drama, you might broach the subject by pointing out that you might feel awkward around this girl (something that shouldn’t be news to your bridesmaid). That will at least give her the chance to diffuse the situation or offer to bring someone else.
But yeah… even if there’s no good way out of this situation now without being rude, that was immature of her to invite her friend; it’s your wedding, not her personal girl’s night out. If you can’t sort this out with your bridesmaid without it being really uncomfortable or turning into a big deal, then you might just have to keep your mouth shut and know that you’re in the right.
Post # 5
You’re totally entitled to your feelings. It’s hard when friendshipss fade because of time and distance, and it’s hard to feel replaced by anyone you care about.
However, you gave her a plus-one and didn’t specify that it hsould be her boyfriend or whatever, so you’re kind of stuck here. She is still your friend and still loves you- that’s why she’s your BM! Just keep that in mind and try to find opportunities to bond with her… maybe even with her roommate, as well.
Good luck. I hope you feel better and that this works out for you.
Post # 6
I know exactly how you feel. My best friend went to a different college than me and became very close to her roommates. But once I met her roommates I loved them instantly. They are great girls and even though I feel like one has maybe replaced me as the “best friend” I know that she is a great girl and I enjoy spending time with both of them. I would say give the roommate a chance. You may go from having one best friend to two really great friends! 🙂
Post # 7
I totally understand how you must be feeling. However, I don’t think you can dictate who she can or cannot bring. (I did however tell my male friend he is under no circumstances allowed to bring his brother as a +1 – mostly joking since he always does this but told him he needs to really find a female date to bring for his own good (he’s tragic on the dating scene).
I do find it odd when people bring same sex dates to weddings, I’d much rather bring a male friend than a female friend but that’s just me.
If you love your friend, I’m sure you will really like her roommate once you get to know her.
Growing apart from friends is tough – and even harder to stay connected when you’re in different towns. Maybe she also feels similarly – that with you getting married, she is losing you to your future husband. Just keep the lines of communication open with each other and try not to be jealous of her new friend – be happy for her and do your best to get to know the new girl.
Post # 8
Thanks everyone for all of the advice! I do feel that I should keep an open mind and just enjoy the wedding and her guest. Its not like I am going to see her guest all night anyway. It is hard like some of you said when communication lines get crossed and you rely heavily on electronic forms of communication. I will definitely be re-reading all of y’alls advice when my mind starts getting upset or jealous to put my mind back on track and at ease, thanks so much!
Post # 9
Don’t stress yourself out, and if she does rub you the wrong way – be the mature one.