(Closed) Bridesmaid DRAMA and she isn't even a bridesmaid! :(

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You told her you wanted to keep your wedding party small, but did you go into specifics? (Like did you say ‘I want a wedding party of no more than 2 on either side?’) If not, which I imagine you didn’t, I think it’s safe to assume that ‘small’ means different things to different people. For some people, 4 people is a small bridal party, for some people 2 people are.

If it were me, I just wouldn’t say that I’d added someone else… just act like K’s been in it the whole time, and if this other girl asks about it say that you didn’t mention K because she does live so far away (and you didn’t know it was your responsibility to name off your entire bridal party for her approval… no, don’t say that. But I would. haha) and if she’s wondering why someone she’s never heard of (K) is your Maid/Matron of Honor, you can say something like you didn’t intially make K your Maid/Matron of Honor because you weren’t sure if she would want the responsibilities from as far away as she is, or something, but you talked about it and recently promoted her?

I hope this helps, at least a little.

Post # 4
934 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Miss T-Rex:  I think it is your wedding party and your day, so you get to decide who you want to be a bridesmaid. I don’t think you have to explain to your friend (who if I am reading things right, asked you to leave her bridal party?) why you have chosen anyone. It is none of her business. 

Yes, she may have a problem with it. But, that is her problem. It is not your problem. I have had to repeat this to myself many times as I have a friend who asked about my bridal party, and then questioned my relationship with one of my bridesmaids (“who the $#^@! is _______?”). 

Do what you want. It is definitely not her business, especially since she asked you to leave her bridal party. 

Post # 5
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It is your wedding party and I think you should ask exactly who you want to be in it.  Truthfully, I think it is so rude of people to be outwardly upset/fight with a person who did not ask them to be in their wedding party.  Own up to your party b/c it’s who you want, and expect her to act like an adult and be ok with it.  Otherwise, to me it doesn’t sound like she’s a good friend who cares about your wishes…instead she sounds selfish in my mind. 

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