Post # 1
So, my last post was about a new friend who asked me to be in her wedding but I didn’t ask her, and for several reasons she has hence asked me to leave her bridal party and I did willingly.
However, one of the reasons I told her it would not be possible for her to be in my wedding is that we want to keep the wedding party small….However, since a very longtime friend K and I have since made amends (we hit a rough patch and didn’t speak for several months) I want to ask K to be my Maid/Matron of Honor because she’s always been there for me since we met and I’ve never not imaged her being there on my day. Despite not talking for months the night I got enaged I called and she was THRILLED and since its been like nothing happened.
K is already flying out for the wedding even though I didn’t ask her to be IN my wedding.
I just don’t want to cause any bridesmaid DRAMA from asking my very close long term friend to be in my wedding when my other freind is going to be very hurt and could cause some serious stress on my end. She gets really emotional very easily and while I really do like her its just stressful at times when I really need to get things done and soon, dresses need to be bought!
So, what do I do ladies?!
I need your guidance and wisdom to help spare me from anymore backlash in my wedding party.
Post # 3
You told her you wanted to keep your wedding party small, but did you go into specifics? (Like did you say ‘I want a wedding party of no more than 2 on either side?’) If not, which I imagine you didn’t, I think it’s safe to assume that ‘small’ means different things to different people. For some people, 4 people is a small bridal party, for some people 2 people are.
If it were me, I just wouldn’t say that I’d added someone else… just act like K’s been in it the whole time, and if this other girl asks about it say that you didn’t mention K because she does live so far away (and you didn’t know it was your responsibility to name off your entire bridal party for her approval… no, don’t say that. But I would. haha) and if she’s wondering why someone she’s never heard of (K) is your Maid/Matron of Honor, you can say something like you didn’t intially make K your Maid/Matron of Honor because you weren’t sure if she would want the responsibilities from as far away as she is, or something, but you talked about it and recently promoted her?
I hope this helps, at least a little.
Post # 4
@Miss T-Rex: I think it is your wedding party and your day, so you get to decide who you want to be a bridesmaid. I don’t think you have to explain to your friend (who if I am reading things right, asked you to leave her bridal party?) why you have chosen anyone. It is none of her business.
Yes, she may have a problem with it. But, that is her problem. It is not your problem. I have had to repeat this to myself many times as I have a friend who asked about my bridal party, and then questioned my relationship with one of my bridesmaids (“who the $#^@! is _______?”).
Do what you want. It is definitely not her business, especially since she asked you to leave her bridal party.
Post # 5
It is your wedding party and I think you should ask exactly who you want to be in it. Truthfully, I think it is so rude of people to be outwardly upset/fight with a person who did not ask them to be in their wedding party. Own up to your party b/c it’s who you want, and expect her to act like an adult and be ok with it. Otherwise, to me it doesn’t sound like she’s a good friend who cares about your wishes…instead she sounds selfish in my mind.