(Closed) Bridesmaid drama HELP

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think you should be able to choose your own wedding party. If he wants her up there so badly she should be a groom’s maid. I think the way you tried to include her was very thoughtful. She seems to to think that she is entitled to participate in your wedding; she’s forgotten that it is an honor to be asked to do anything at all.

Post # 4
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

No, you’re not wrong.  You guys have already planned this detail.  Keep her for the reading and give her the gift. Leave it at that.  I think it’s too close to your date to start making changes especially if you don’t feel close to her.

Post # 5
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think, in most circumstances, the groom’s sister should be a bridesmaid.  She is going to become your sister, so even if you are not that close now the wedding may bring you closer together.  When you look back at pictures, as long as you are with your Fiance she will be your sister, while even the best of friends may grow apart.

That said, it is your wedding and your bridal party so it is your decision.  I think making her a reader was a nice gesture and she should be happy with that.

Post # 6
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@soon2bmrsstephan:  It is ultimately you and your FI’s wedding and it really doesn’t matter is someone wants to be a bridesmaid or not. Especially if she doesn’t treat your kids well. I agree with the PP that it is an honor to play any role in someone’s wedding! I wouldn’t worry about it and continue with your current plan or like the PP said have her be a groom’s maid.

Post # 7
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

You can choose who you want for your bridal party.  16 seems too young to be a bridesmaid anyway, especially when you planned on having two.

 

It’s also only two months out until the wedding and likely too late to order a bridesmaid dress for her.

Post # 8
Member
1004 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i dont think your wrong for not wanting her, but my thinking is…would it hurt?

We are having a similar size wedding, I have 3 braidem and my daughter who is 18 is going to be my Maid/Matron of Honor (FI has 3 gromsm)

I am not paying for any of my peeps outfits…so not sure if cost is a factor for you, but in any case, I think its entirely up to you.

 

If you absolutely cannot stand her being in it, put your foot down, but I can promise you she will probably never let it go LOL, just from my experience, people dont forget that sort of thing.

Post # 9
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@soon2bmrsstephan:  Aren’t the dresses already ordered (and probably getting altered?!) If he needs a tangible reason why this isn’t doable (men can be like that), then this is it.

Post # 11
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Would it hurt? Really? Honestly, I would have asked her from the outset.

I am not only having my sister-in-law as bridesmaid, but made her Maid/Matron of Honor when the Mr asked me to because it was important to him. Sometimes, it is more important to keep the peace than to hurt someone you have to deal with for life. I am not that close to my sister-in-law but it mattered to her and my husband, so I am doing it.

Why can’t you just have an unever bridal party? That’s what we’re doing. 

Post # 12
Member
1159 posts
Bumble bee

@soon2bmrsstephan:  I think you are being a little unreasonable. Firstly, his sister is 16 and showing favouritism towards your son’s is probably something that is unintentional and is something she is unaware of. I think calling a 16 year old a bitch as a grown adult is also a little uncalled for.

I was 16 when my brother got married and i was not a bridesmaid. I was a little hurt but i understood.

Maybe explain to her and your fiance that you won’t be selecting her as a bridesmaid but maybe offer to take her out for a girly day of a mani, pedi and lunch to smooth it over.

Post # 14
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

If he wants her in it that bad then tell him he can have her as a groomsmaid. That way she can still get ready at their house and also he can have the responsibility of making sure that she has everything and is ready…and you won’t have to deal with her at all.

Post # 15
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@soon2bmrsstephan:  At this point she will bring more drama I feel. Keep your bridal party as is.

Yes, she is his sister, but to me that doesn’t mean she trumps those who been closer to you who are not included in the party.

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