(Closed) Bridesmaid drama Vent

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m sorry to hear that.  An odd number can definitely work!  We just had the last girl walk out of the ceremony with a guy on each arm.  They went into the ceremony separately.   I don’t think its a big deal at all.

Post # 4
Member
1044 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@ashleyr0512:  have you asked her if she is still interested in being a bridesmaid? I know it sucks… It’s your day but people’s lived go on.

I got really sick when my friend was planning her wedding and had to move out of state. we had an honest talk about me staying in the wedding, i’m sure she was frustrated behind my back but she was always so warm and loving when she approached me. And I know she was panicked that I hadnt ordered my dress in time and that I hadn’t bought my flight back in time but everything worked out.

do you still want her to be a bridesmaid at this point? If so, is the only reason you want her there, is to have an even # of attendants?

Post # 5
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Just have the last 2 groomsmen walk down the aisle with the last bridesmaid.  It will look just fine. 🙂 

It sounds like she has a lot going on, and your wedding isn’t a priority to her.  I would let her step down, and tell her she is only invited to the wedding; the rehearsal dinner is for immediate family and those in the wedding party.

I understand people not having a ton of money.   But if she took the money you gave her for a bridesmaid dress and spent it on something else/didn’t return it, she doesn’t sound like a very good friend.  She sounds selfish. 

Post # 6
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

 

I don’t think it’s the money.  I think she just doesn’t feel up to being a bridesmaid when she’s that pregnant.  Frankly, that wouldn’t appeal to me either.  Being a bridesmaid means MANY hours standing on your feet.  

 

It’s totally ok to have uneven sides.  i was just at a wedding where they were more bridesmaids than groomsmen. It worked out fine.  

Post # 7
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@ashleyr0512:She might not feel comfortable standing in front of a large group of people that late in the pregnancy – I think that’s completely understandable. As for not being able to afford the dress… well, I’m sure you’re doing sacrifices to be able to afford your wedding. Don’t you think she might feel the same when it comes to her baby? That she rather put those $100 towards something for the nursery… I think you’re both a little wrapped up in your own worlds, she should have talked to you about this earlier – but you could also be a little more understanding.

 

As you asked her to be a bridesmaid in the first place, I assume you did so because you wanted her there that day – not to just even out the numbers. Talk to her, explain that you’re hurt but that you would love if she could attend as a guest and just have two of the girls walk in with a groomsman.

Post # 9
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@ashleyr0512: I agree that she should have talked to you about this, but obviously, she has a lot going on and therefore it seems to make more sense to have her attend as a guest. One could have hoped that she would arrive at that conclusion herself, and contacted you about it, but perhaps she’s not so rational now due to hormones and worries.

 

Regarding the money, if she wont use it for the dress – she should return it to you. I would be very put off if she wouldn’t even mention it. That just seems dishonest to me.

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