Post # 1
I am getting married April 13, 13. I asked all of my bridesmaids to be a bridesmain in March 2012. One year ago. Up until recently things were going GREAT. In Sept 2012 one of my bridesmaids found out she was pregnant but then lost her baby. :(. In December she announced again she was pregnant. By the time of the wedding she will be 7 months. While I wasn’t thrilled at first about her being 7 months pregnant in the wedding I got over it. Now where we are 37 days away from the wedding and she still has not bought her bridesmaid dress. She told me tuesday night she didn’t have the money to pay for the dress ($100). I told her last March. That is $8 a month she had to save and for some reason wasn’t able to. Ok… thats fine. I mailed her a check for the full price of the dress. Now she is saying she doesn’t think they can order it in time but asked if she was still invited to the wedding and rehearsal dinner even if she wasn’t a bridemaid anymore? Oh, and did i mention she has been posting online about how her family and her friends family are going to spend a week in FL this summer. You can afford this but not afford a $100 dress?! And the fact tha she may be screwing me out of a bridesmaid but stll wants to come to the wedding and rehearsal dinner to get a free meal? WTF?
So Bees–How can i work it having an off number of bridesmaids to groomsmen?
Post # 3
I’m sorry to hear that. An odd number can definitely work! We just had the last girl walk out of the ceremony with a guy on each arm. They went into the ceremony separately. I don’t think its a big deal at all.
Post # 4
@ashleyr0512: have you asked her if she is still interested in being a bridesmaid? I know it sucks… It’s your day but people’s lived go on.
I got really sick when my friend was planning her wedding and had to move out of state. we had an honest talk about me staying in the wedding, i’m sure she was frustrated behind my back but she was always so warm and loving when she approached me. And I know she was panicked that I hadnt ordered my dress in time and that I hadn’t bought my flight back in time but everything worked out.
do you still want her to be a bridesmaid at this point? If so, is the only reason you want her there, is to have an even # of attendants?
Post # 5
Just have the last 2 groomsmen walk down the aisle with the last bridesmaid. It will look just fine. 🙂
It sounds like she has a lot going on, and your wedding isn’t a priority to her. I would let her step down, and tell her she is only invited to the wedding; the rehearsal dinner is for immediate family and those in the wedding party.
I understand people not having a ton of money. But if she took the money you gave her for a bridesmaid dress and spent it on something else/didn’t return it, she doesn’t sound like a very good friend. She sounds selfish.
Post # 6
I don’t think it’s the money. I think she just doesn’t feel up to being a bridesmaid when she’s that pregnant. Frankly, that wouldn’t appeal to me either. Being a bridesmaid means MANY hours standing on your feet.
It’s totally ok to have uneven sides. i was just at a wedding where they were more bridesmaids than groomsmen. It worked out fine.
Post # 7
@ashleyr0512:She might not feel comfortable standing in front of a large group of people that late in the pregnancy – I think that’s completely understandable. As for not being able to afford the dress… well, I’m sure you’re doing sacrifices to be able to afford your wedding. Don’t you think she might feel the same when it comes to her baby? That she rather put those $100 towards something for the nursery… I think you’re both a little wrapped up in your own worlds, she should have talked to you about this earlier – but you could also be a little more understanding.
As you asked her to be a bridesmaid in the first place, I assume you did so because you wanted her there that day – not to just even out the numbers. Talk to her, explain that you’re hurt but that you would love if she could attend as a guest and just have two of the girls walk in with a groomsman.
Post # 8
@eocenia: @JaneyDcat: I have asked her atleast 10 times since she found out she was pregnant again if she was sure she wanted to do it. That i would understand if she didn’t. She assured me over and over she wanted to still be in the wedding. Even seemed a little upset at the thought she wouldn’t be in it. That is what confuses me so much. The money isn’t an issue because i have sent her the money for the dress. She doesn’t have to travel because she lives in the city we are having the wedding.
@MadTownGirl: I am unsure if she plans on returning the money to me or not. She hasn’t mentioned it at all but i also haven’t asked.
Post # 9
@ashleyr0512: I agree that she should have talked to you about this, but obviously, she has a lot going on and therefore it seems to make more sense to have her attend as a guest. One could have hoped that she would arrive at that conclusion herself, and contacted you about it, but perhaps she’s not so rational now due to hormones and worries.
Regarding the money, if she wont use it for the dress – she should return it to you. I would be very put off if she wouldn’t even mention it. That just seems dishonest to me.
Post # 10
I feel like she wants me to kick her out so she isn’t the one to “step down”. but i don’t want to do that either because i care a lot about it. It’s just a sticky situation. I guess i will play it by ear.