- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2017
I’ve heard so many horror stories about weddings and how they can either bring the best or worst out in people. Personally, I feel like I am experiencing a little taste of this. I need some kind of advice, because I entirely feel so lost and confused about this situation.
So I am standing up in my best friend’s wedding (of 10 years). Her wedding is in 8 weeks. Her bridal shower was today, and yesterday I either got food poisoning or caught something at work, because last night at 7pm I started having really bad diarrhea, nausea, abdominal pain, and chills. I immediately contacted her and told her I was unsure if I could make it. I told her I would let her know in the morning. Well, turns out I was worse in the morning and was up all night, so I was unable to make her shower. Granted, I felt so bad that as her best friend and bridesmaid I couldn’t go, but also I cannot plan for illness (I’m a nurse so I probably got something at work). Later in the day, after her shower, she texted me asking to come over and talk. I knew it was probably about me not coming. When she got to my house, she explained she was upset that I didn’t go. Not only was she upset about that, but about two other things, which took me by surprise:
1) She thought it was rude that I texted her Friday with my bridal shower date (Shes an out of state bridesmaid, so I thought I would tell her ASAP.) I texted her the date and that was it. No further conversation ensued. She thought I was taking away from her excitement and shine of her bridal shower weekend. I sorta can see this, but at the same time, no conversation occured about my plans, just a date. So I only sympathize with this mildly.
2) My fiance and I originally set our wedding date to Sept. 2017, but moved it this month to May 2017. She told me that she thought it was odd that I decided to move my wedding to the same MONTH as hers. My wedding is a year later. She thought that of all months, it was odd I picked the same month as hers. Now…come on. We picked May for so many reasons, none of which relate to her. I don’t understand why this would be a problem. After this conversation I feel like I am walking on eggshells around her planning my wedding in fear that if I choose something similar or close, she will get upset. Example: she is going to Punta Cana for her honeymoon, and we considered it too because its not in Mexico but still reasonably priced with all inclusive options. But now I feel like I can’t go there in fear she will be mad and think I am again copying her. I explained that as a friend of 10 years, I think this mentality of “copying her” is immature, and that I wish she could just be happy about the decisions I make. After all, thats what bridesmaids and best friends are for.
I am entirely lost and need some advice from fellow bees! Am I doing something wrong here? Or is this all caused by pre-wedding nerves on her end?