Bridesmaid Drama What to Do

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
27 posts
Newbee

OMG weddings really bring out the worst in people. A) You are already doing a lot for your bridesmaids (way more than I did) and B) There is nothing wrong with splurging a bit more on your Maid/Matron of Honor – you are actually kind of supposed to! They are being serious drama queens. How close are you with these friends? Is there maybe something else going on? Do they not like your MOH?

Post # 3
Member
6673 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

tikimojo :  What a baby.  I don’t think you should have told them what you were covering for the Maid/Matron of Honor but honestly if she wants to be that PA about it all, I’d tell her she can stay home and use that money to cover the uber for the less bitchy one.  I think what you are covering for them is more than enough – they can fly from Philly or Pittsburgh to Seattle pretty cheaply compared to flying to a municipal airport and you are covering far more than is necessary.  We had a similar issue and paid for dresses and hotel for bridal party – nothing else – and they were happy about it, not bitches.  I’d be rethinking the friendship pretty hard.

If you do value the friendship, maybe she could explain why she thinks you favor the Maid/Matron of Honor so much?  Perhaps there really are hurt feelings there (but I doubt it)

Post # 4
Member
394 posts
Helper bee

I guess it does not matter at this point but how does the bridesmaids know you are renting a car for the Maid/Matron of Honor and family?  Could you not just rent a bigger vehcile and the Maid/Matron of Honor and family and two bridesmaid can  youse that vehicle – wouldn’t that be cheaper overall anyways?

I think you were generous with what you have bought already.  It is sad weddings bring out such bad drama.

 

Post # 5
Member
1350 posts
Bumble bee

Chris4 :  That’s actually a really good idea! 

OP, I assume there’s “some” reason you or the bridal party will find that this excellent idea won’t work, but you should probably try (assuming your bridal party is staying at the same hotel). Otherwise, take it as a lesson learned to never share this kind of business/financial information with anyone but those affected. If push comes to shove, I guess suck it up and pay for them–that’s probably the consequence of having childish friends AND sharing information with them that didn’t concern them. 

Post # 6
Member
390 posts
Helper bee

Wow! They are being so ungrateful for all the expenses you are covering for them already!

I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man for an interstate wedding – the bride/groom covered the cost of the dress and picked me up from the airport. I thought both gestures were very sweet. For everything else I paid myself – flight, accommodation, taxi to the airport.

Maybe a family member or friend can pick them from the airport?

Post # 7
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee

I was a bridesmaid in a wedding a few months ago. It was local(ish) for us, about 90 minutes drive. The rehearsal was on a Friday afternoon so we ended up needing to stay at the hotel for 2 nights, and take Friday off work. The bride also had a destination bachelorette. We paid for our own dresses and hotel stays, as well as hair and makeup, and we all split the cost of the bride’s expenses for the destination bachelorette. It was EXPENSIVE. You know who complained? Nobody! We were happy to do it because we love this girl. Weddings show you who your true friends are! Anyone giving you grief over the cost of an Uber from the airport right before your wedding is not worth going out of your way for…

Editing to add that while the cost wasn’t a huge strain for me, one of the other bridesmaids was a student and another one had recently been laid off and was unemployed. So these girls were not flush with cash, but still, we all worked together to make it happen and make it easy for the bride.

Post # 8
Member
2846 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I think your Bridesmaid or Best Man is being childish and is probably a bit jealous that she was not Maid/Matron of Honor. On the other hand, I don’t see any plausible reason why your BMs even know that you are paying for your MOHs rental car to begin with? It’s really none of their business either way though so I guess meh. 

I like the idea of renting a larger car that they can all just share if they are staying at the same hotel. If they don’t want to share, they can get their own rentals/Uber’s and be done with it. 

Post # 9
Member
378 posts
Helper bee

Five years old is neither a baby nor a toddler.  

Post # 10
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2018

You are already paying for way more than a normal bride would pay for (props to you!) They should be much more grateful for what you are already doing for them so far. 

Post # 11
Member
394 posts
Helper bee

I guess I should add right or wrong it doesn’t matter.  These maids feel this way and have a right to feel whatever they want.  Now the ball is in your court. How important are these ladies to  you?  Is it worth 200 dollars?  Only you and your fiance can answer that.

Post # 12
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee

I can kind of understand your bridesmaids. I would think a bit like that but I would never ever say it out loud. while the practical part of me does understand the logistics and reasons, the petty side of me would think that again the ones without a husband and children have to pay more and compromise more.

I would get a big enough car to fit all 5 of them and tell them to share. Also depending on the size of the kid 5 yo often have a booster thing that’s easy to travel with. usually they don’t fit into baby seats anymore.

sure you are already giving more than expected and you are entitled to give different things for different people.of the bridal party but I can kind of see why Bridesmaid or Best Man would be a bit hurt.

Post # 14
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2018

oh wow, I do not envy you, it seems that you are doing so so much for them, if anything I think they should be grateful and not upset. All my bridesmaids are coming from other countries, I am not paying for their flights, or stay or anything except the dresses and flowers, and even so, all of them offered to pay for their own dresses. I think you should probably find a polite way of telling them, that you are doing as much as you can and you think is necessary for each of them, and have plenty of things to worry about, so you would like to avoid any additional drama.

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