- 10 years ago
- Wedding: May 2009
Some of you may seen my other posts….my Maid/Matron of Honor was MIA. Hadn’t been to a single event. I’m not really one to say anything to anyone, but at one point she asked if I was upset, so I told the truth and said yes. Then she got angry at me for being upset with her!
I get the whole, How dare you be mad at me….I have a job…I have kids….you have no idea.
I get it, she has a busy life. So do I (as I sit in a hotel room on a business trip typing this), so so my other bridesmaids.
So, after a week I call her and she steps down as Maid/Matron of Honor. Kind of relief for me because the other girls were getting resentful that she was the Maid/Matron of Honor and she hadn’t been to anything, but also kind of disappointing to me because I just wanted my friend around.
Now, let me say, I am not a demanding bride. I kinda go with the flow. But I was hoping to get all my girls together before the wedding because not all of them had met. I just thought if we had a night out of fun together it would make the wedding day even more comfortable and fun.
The last chance would be the bachelorette party, but true to form, my former Maid/Matron of Honor sent an email (she never calls for these kind of things) saying she would be unable to make the party. Maybe she would make brunch the next day………nope she never showed for that either. Later in the day I received a text from her saying her niece was in the hospital having a baby and she was sorry she couldn’t come.
Again, I was disappointed. And thinking that niece was lucky because I am close with my family and my aunt would not come to the hospital when I was having a baby!
I find out that when my former Maid/Matron of Honor rsvp’d no to the bacherlorette party my current Maid/Matron of Honor sent her an email saying "Are you seriously not coming?" That’s it. That’s all the email said.
A few days later I get an email from my former Maid/Matron of Honor saying something like this:
Hope you had a fun weekend. I feel like we have a problem with the below email. Can you please help me understand why she is sending this to me? I explained to you why I wouldn’t be at the party. I really feel like all of this is going to put a damper on your wedding day and that is the last thing I want.
So, I emailed her back that I thought the she was frustrated that she hasn’t been to any group gatherings. That they all have stuff going on but they all still show up. (Now this girl has a tendancy to think she has all the worst problems so I gave her a taste of what the others are going through) I told her one just lost thousands of dollara on a home, another has to live seprately from her husband because she has a job in one city and a house in another and they can’t sell their house and yet another has to be out of her apt. by the end of the week and has not found a place to live yet.
I tell her that yes, there may be weird vibe on that day, but it is what it is. I’ve done all I can. I’ve defended her all I can. The only one who can change the vibe is her.
This is what I got back:
I guess I don’t know where to start, so I ‘m going to just start.I know everyone has things going on. I get it. The point I have been trying to get across is, I have 3 priority’s right now. Me/Kids/Work. That’s all "I" can handle. This isn’t about what Maid/Matron of Honor can handle or where she finds time to do all she does. This is about what I can do. I’m sorry, I don’t have anything left for you and you deserve more. You are lucky to have this wonderful group of girls in the wedding. With that said, not only will I be stepping down as maid of honor, but I will not be in the wedding at all. I know this puts you in a tough position a month before the biggest day of your life,and for that I am truly sorry. But based on what you said below, I do not want to be the cause of anymore stress/drama to you. Nor will I put myself in a "bad" situation where I will be judged from people that do not know me. I feel confident you will find someone to fill in. I can send you my dress, and they can have it altered.