Post # 1
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
I need some advice on how to handle a situation without coming off as a bridezilla or offending my bridesmaid’s family. My bridesmaids all bought their dresses from J. Crew. I picked out the color (blue) and the fabric (silk chiffon) and let them pick out the style they wanted. I have a bridesmaid (we’ll call her W) who is very busty. She’s a size 8, but she has Dirty Delete breasts. When she tried on her dress, she bought it in the size 8. It’s a V neck with thick straps, so she can wear a supportive bra.
I thought everything was fine with the dress, but today W calls me and says it is way too boobalicious on her. She says her boobs are popping out of the dress! I do appreciate that she doesn’t want to look skanky at my wedding, so I don’t mind her altering the dress to make it more conservative. I asked her if it was possible to have a seamstress sew the V closed a little bit so it wasn’t so low. She said she refuses to go to a seamstress, because her grandma does all the family alterations and will do it for free. However, her grandma (who is a sweet, Southern lady), says the material is too thin and sheer to alter. She is afraid sewing the fabric will cause it to tear.
Now, I have never heard that silk chiffon cannot be altered. I personally think that her grandma doesn’t have the experience necessary to alter an expensive material like that. I don’t want to say this to W though, because I don’t want to sound like I’m insulting her grandma. I asked her if she could return it for the next size up so it would fit her breasts better, but she says it would have to be taken in at the waist which her grandma says cannot be done. Her grandma’s solution is to buy some fabric that matches the dress and place it in front of the V to cover her breasts. I’m afraid that will look bad, like she’s wearing a bib or something.
Ideally, I would like W to return the dress for a larger size and have it taken in at the waist. Does anyone else have experience with silk chiffon? Can it be altered? How do I convince my bridesmaid not to let her grandma do the alterations as I’m afraid she might ruin the dress? The dress I’m talking about is below, so you can get an idea of what it looks like.
Post # 3
Member
3969 posts
Honey bee
I don’t know the intensity of the boobaliciousness of your Bridesmaid or Best Man, but is there anyway the V could be pinned higher up? I am nowhere near a seamstress.
Post # 4
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
@love108: It might be able to be pinned, but her grandma claimed this would also tear the fabric. I’m thinking about asking my seamstress what she thinks. I just don’t know how to tell my bm to use her instead of her grandma.
Post # 5
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
So what is it that your Bridesmaid or Best Man is looking to do here? She said the dress is too exposing, yet won’t get it altered, won’t order a size up to have it taken in at the waist. I’m not a seamstress, but I bet money that the dress can be altered with no issue. ordering a size up and taking it in, is probably the easiest way.
My suggestion is that you’ll have to offer to pay for your seamstress to do it. If she won’t pay someone else and her grandmother will not do it, you’re most likely going to have to eat the cost. What is the other alternative, she’s out of the wedding?
Post # 6
Member
3969 posts
Honey bee
@Bichon Frise: If the dress has already been bought, I would maybe suggest to her that since you’re basically stuck with that dress and while it would be wonderful if her grandma could do it, perhaps a second opinion might help? I don’t think it’d be a difficult fix (coming from a non-seamstress) but I would think you could describe the dress situation to multiple seamstresses and get their take on it and approximate costs.
Post # 7
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee
My girls had silk chiffon and they were altered no problem, but it does take experience
Maybe she could wear a white or cream lace tank underneath to give another leather.
Post # 8
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
Thanks for the responses! I thought the dress could be altered with no problem. I’m just worried that she’ll try to have her grandma do the alterations and it sounds like she’s not experienced enough. Any ideas on how to nicely ask her to go with my choice of seamstress?
Post # 9
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee
I think you could tell her that you did some research and called so and so seamstress (actually call too!) and she said it can be done and that she could do it for $X if her gram doesnt feel comfortable doing the alterations. Then let her make the decision.
Post # 10
Member
3969 posts
Honey bee
I would call around and find someone who says they’re experience in that fabric, then you could talk to her and say hey, I know your grandma’s awesome, but I realize you’re concerned…. I know of someone who has a lot of experience with this type of fabric, maybe a day next week we could go get her opinion and weigh options?
Post # 11
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
@lefeymw: I agree, I think that’s a good way to go about it.
I am pretty sure that it can be altered. I can see what she means that it may rip since it is a thin material but it should be lined and the liner is really what’s giving the dress the structure not the chiffon.
Post # 12
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
@Ms. Martian: I would go with a little white lie and say that it needs to be done by a bridal shop or something fancy so her grandma wont be offended.
Post # 13
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about it…if her grandma rips the dress and she has to buy another one or have sever alterations done from a bridal shop, that’s her own fault. One of my BMs insisted on going to a family friend and I basically told her the same thing…if you don’t want the shop to do it, that’s fine, but if it gets messed up and she has to reorder, that’s her fault. Call me mean, but I don’t see where it should be something you have to stress over!! 🙂
Post # 14
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
@MissBMarie1428: I would be the same way, but I know my bridesmaid can’t afford a second dress. If this one gets ruined, then either I would have to buy her another dress (which I really don’t want to do) or she would drop out of the bridal party (which I don’t want to happen). That’s why I’m very nervouse about her grandma attempting alterations.
@lefeymw: I’m going to try this approach and hope my friend doesn’t still insist on her grandma doing the alterations.
