(Closed) Bridesmaid dress conundrum

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: As a bridesmaid, how much guidance would you want regarding your dress
    No ambiguity! Bride dictates designer, style and color of dress : (6 votes)
    23 %
    Multiple choice: bride provides 3 or 4 options to pick from : (9 votes)
    35 %
    Mix and match: bride chooses a color and BMs choose anything in that family : (6 votes)
    23 %
    Fight the establishment, man. Bride suggests length/formality/color preferences, and sets you loose : (5 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    1276 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I’m not sure how to answer your poll in light of your situation.  I have to say that the toughest time I had was also when the bride just dictated color family.  I think my BM’s feel that what I did was easiest which was to specify designer/color/fabric and let them choose, but I totally respect your wanting to fight the establishment.  Have you tried a chain store like Ann Taylor?   That’s actually where I ended up getting the dress I wore when we had our own choice. They have Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, several in the same color/fabric.  This at least would avoid the need to rush order.

    Also, what color did you choose?  Maybe some of us can help find some options.  A lot of discount designer sites (e.g. bluefly) can be helpful too.

    Post # 4
    3331 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’m sorry you’ve been having such a hard time with all this!  I know that it can be hard when you’ve got different personalities and you’re trying to get them to make a decision.  I had my Bridesmaid or Best Man choose a dress, but I gave them the color (black), length and store (JCrew), so that they had some parameters. I know I didn’t want them to be matchy-matchy and didn’t want to go the traditional Bridesmaid or Best Man dress route, so that worked for us.

    At this point, in the interest of time, I might have a discussion with the ladies to tell them that you need to focus the efforts a little.  I would try to suggest a specific store or style and possibly even send them suggestions.  Like fizicsGirl, I would check stores like Ann Taylor and JCrew to see if they have anything that fits your ideas.  Both stores have good selections and can ship much more quickly than traditional Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses.  I’d also try some department stores like Nordstrom or Macy’s.

    Let us know if you need help searching!

    Post # 5
    778 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2009

    I would choose one store or designer and one color and say go for it.  Anne Taylor has lots of options, so does J. Crew or you can choose David’s bridal where they may just be able to buy off the rack if there is one nearby.  With regards to designers, there are so many like ABS, nina ricci, adrienee pappel, all of which can be bought at Macys and other large clothing retailers.

    I agree that you need to narrow their fields, but these are the best options while still allowing them to buy off the rack or online.


    Post # 6
    337 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    That’s tough. I agree with you about wanting to give them choices and wanting them to want to wear their dresses again. The best thing I would do as a bride is give them a standard color (black or navy or something) material, length, and designer. That way they can go get their dress at leisure and it will fit your parameters.

     I was a little out of this, asking the girls to pick out a dress in yellow, cotton, and knee length from Priscilla of Boston. (If we had gone with a different designer the dresses would have been a strange color!) I don’t know if they’ll wear it again as they aren’t the biggest fans of yellow, but I think they sure look cute on them! 



    Post # 7
    14183 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Why don’t you just send them all an email and say, "hey have you guys picked out a dress yet? if not, do you mind if i just go ahead and pick some out under $ X ?" Then you could just be at ease and be done with it! What’s your colors? Stay away from regular bm dresses if you can help it. They’re so expensive and i’m sure they’d love to find wearable dresses for the same (or even slightly higher) cost. 

    I have given my BMs some freedom, and I find that they are uncomfortable telling me what THEY want in MY wedding. Tehy really expect me just to hand them a list and tell them to make it happen. I had to pull teeth just to get them to send me pics of how they want to wear their hair. 

     Personally i’m in 2 weddings where the dresses were chosen for me. As long as they are affordable I could care less. Cool! It’s when they’re pricey that I go "eek. i could have gotten something i LOVED for this price".  But then again, if someone had told me "red, cocktail length…GO!"I would have LOVED an excuse to buy a pretty awesome new red dress.

    So I’m not much help. Sorry! 

    Post # 8
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I gave my BMs some freedom.  I wanted long, dark grey, and not satin.  We are now at the 5 month mark and no one has a dress.  (It’s ok, we still have time….right?)  So I went online while I was with my sister/BM and just looked.  We found a nice dress that comes in maternity and non-maternity (our other sister/MOH will be ~8.5 months pregnant) and is around $130.  I really wanted all my BMs in different dresses, but they actually wanted to wear the same dress, so they felt special.  I am now in the process of calling around to see if any stores have this particular dress in stock to try it on, but no luck yet so we will probably just end up ordering them sight-unseen.  But, they’ll be ordered and I can move on to more exciting things.

    Post # 10
    2640 posts
    Sugar bee

    On the one hand it’s nice, as a Bridesmaid or Best Man to be able to pick out a dress you like, since you are paying for it.  But on the other hand, I would be a lttle uptight about making sure it was something the bride would also lie, and would go well with the other Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses.

    The topic ‘Bridesmaid dress conundrum’ is closed to new replies.

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