Post # 1
I was just asked to be a Bridesmaid in my good friend’s wedding. I am SO excited! I have one reservation, and I”m not sure how to address it. We haven’t talked about costs yet, and I’m a little concerned the Bride is going to pick a very expensive Bridesmaid dress. I know she already loves one that would come out to be about $400. I love her, and want to be a Bridesmaid, but there is no way I could afford a $400 dress. She did say that she is looking around at more affordable options. So I’m crossing my fingers that she does find a more affordable option, because I KNOW for a fact there are styles just like the one she likes for 1/2 the price of the designer she found.
She hasn’t asked us our budgets yet. And, no offense to my friend, but she isn’t used to living in a world with budgets. She comes from a very privledged upbringing and doesn’t totally understand that we all don’t have $400 to drop on a dress.
What would you guys do? Should I just wait until she says anything? Or should I say something to her in advance?
Post # 3
I would take her to lunch just because you’re friends and to have a conversation about her expectations in general. You can talk then about what you think is a reasonable price to pay for a bridesmaid’s dress, and also touch on whether she thinks a bridesmaid’s role is to show up on the day, be a personal servant for a year or something in between 🙂
Post # 4
Maybe send her an email like “Hi (Bride)! I was looking around online and found this dress which I thought you might like for bridesmaids (insert link). I can spend up to $XXX on a dress, so it fits really nicely into my budget too. Let me know what you think!
Post # 5
I would let her know your expections! I’m sure she won’t be upset.. and if she really likes a pricey one that she knows is over budget.. she should help offset some of the cost for you so you are comfortable with it.
Post # 6
I agree with SapphireSun. Before the bride starts picking out super expensive dresses, there should be a conversation had regarding a bridesmaid dress budget that everyone can agree on or start looking at dresses in your price range and get everyone’s opinion.
I just went shopping for bridesmaid dresses with a friend and feared the same. And because I didn’t speak up before hand, a somewhat pricy dress was the brides pick. Now my pockets aren’t very happy but it’s for a good friend at the end of that day. Good luck
Post # 7
Yeah, I think I’ll wait until it comes up in a more concrete way. She did say she was looking at cheaper options, so I hope she will end up going with a cheaper choice. But when we looked at the original dress she didn’t even flinch at the price tag. I think it’s like $380, but with tax it’ll be $400+ and with alterations it’ll be closer to $450. Crazy….
Post # 8
Just tell her, really in my opinion if she picks it she should pay for it! I paid for my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses.
Post # 9
I had a semi-similar situation. I’m a total deal monger. I have Ann Taylor dresses that I picked up during a sale for $8. That’s the kind of shopping I do. My bride isn’t afraid to spend $60 on a Valentine’s dress or on some nice stuff from Banana Republic. She’s not totally spendy, and likes a deal (she got a %30 off discount while working at Banana) but I was concerned because when you extrapolate our buying habits to the bridesmaids dress price range…. eeee! Not to mention I am off work for 2 months and was in a car accident, so all my money is going to medical bills. On top of that, my dog is sick and I had to drop $225 on lab testing and so on a week or two ago, and we’re getting ready for round two soon. The original pick? A Two Birds dress. I was like “That’s cute—OHNO.” That’s a huge part of my living money right now. I normally only make $10/hr, as I’m 22 and a student.
She started looking at JCrew, but even that was concerning me cost-wise (some are affordable, some are like EEEE)
So she found me something that was only $100, paid for HALF of it, and totally understood.
Remember, these brides may be brides now, but they’re always our friends. I’d express it to her. The worst would be if she fell in love with a super expensive dress. If she knows your budget, she can look inside that hopefully, and find some options.
Post # 10
I have been in this situation. I wish that I would have said I will be your bridesmaid, but this is my budget. Let her know upfront before she picks a dress what your budget is. If not you may end up spending way to much like I did. I think if you bring it up in advance it is easier. If she knows you have $100 to spend and she picks out a $400 dress she should know she will have to pick up the slack.
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
The first time I got married, I fell in love with a dress that was $370. That was way too much though. We went to a local bridal salon and showed them what I wanted, and they had another dress in a color that was almost the exact same and just a slightly different trim detail at the bottom. It was maybe $180 if I remember right.
So maybe she can ask the experts and find a dress that looks like the expensive one but is not so much money.