Post # 1
So I have been racking my brain for a nice affordable bridesmaid dress. The bridesmaid in question told me she had a limit of $100 bucks all in. Thats fine with me, I get that everyone has a budget. So I have been looking at department stores, bridal stores, online discount stores for months looking for a deal. I have an odd wedding colour for my wedding as well, that is not that common outside of a bridal store.
So I find a dress this morning on a mall website, regularly $225 on sale for $62.99. It is my colour, high waisted to hide the larger girls in my parties issues they were concerned about. I fired off an email to all the girls telling them that if they are ok with the sizing of it, I will pay for it. So instead of them having to pay $100 out of pocket there dress is now free. This was meant to make life easier as I pick it I pay for it.
3 of the girls, my mother and my mother in law all email me back telling me they LOVE IT and its perfect (even the largest girl who was so concerned loved it). They all send me there preferred sizes.
Then the last bridesmaid takes the time to email me and say that she thinks its promish and doesn’t like it. I ask her to just pick a size please, that everyone else loves it, and I will pay for it but I need to get it ordered before stock runs out. She then takes the time to call a store to see if she can try it on (I don’t get why since I chose it and am paying for it) and realized the stores were out of stock and they were only online (what I already told her). So in all of this she still hasn’t looked at the size chart and instead emails me this story and says she is busy at work and will let me know in the afternoon. This was at 9:30am with a dress on clearance and stock repidly decreasing. I told her I am sorry, but I need an answer ASAP and will wait as long as I can but need to order.
At noon she still hasn’t emailed me so I email her telling her I will be ordering extras of each size (I know she is around a 14 cause we share clothes) and will order a 12, 14 and 16 so her and the other bridesmaid that is larger can try them on and see what they prefer and I will return the extras. She then gets mad at me for not waiting for her to choose a size and for not being able to “wait an extra hour” for her to choose:.
I told her I can wait, but the stock can’t and I had to make a decision, and ordered sizes all around hers and the other girls to ensure a good fit. She replies “fine, whatever” and didn’t speak to me the rest of the day.
Like seriously? Did I do something wrong? I tried to get the best deal, and she was the bridesmaid with the most budget constraints and I ended up paying for the dress and ordering extras since she said she didn’t have the time to look at the size chart.
Am I wrong???
Post # 3
No! You are not wrong at all! She is lucky you are paying for the drss because not only am I picking the dresses and forcing them to wear them regardless of their personal taste I am also not paying for them. Id like them to feel comfortable but your “friend” is out of line.
Post # 4
She sounds like a brat, to say the least. Do you mind posting a pic of the dress? You did nothing wrong, and gave her the time; and I think that is so kind of you to order extras! Don’t let her attitude bother you.
Post # 6
@KKG: I just posted the dress
Post # 7
She sounds like she just doesn’t realize the severity of the situation. She probably assumed that if this one sold out, you would just pick another one and it would be no big deal. Which is selfish IMO.
Post # 8
No, I don’t think you were wrong. But I can see how she could have miscontrued the situation and gotten annoyed. She likely thought you just really wanted to get this done now and did not understand that you actually had to do it right then or it wouldn’t be possible to get the dresses (even if you told her that). And maybe she was just having a busy or bad day at work. At this point I would just let it go and hope she does as well. Things will be sorted out once the dresses are in.
Post # 9
Thats lovely! I like it alot. It looks to be figure flattering to all shapes and sizes! Good pick! Ignore her, she seems to enjoy being a PITA.
Post # 10
@missjewels: That is a beautiful dress!! If I was a bridesmaid I’d love that, universally flattering. I don’t even understand how she could say it looks like a prom dress. Like, what kinda weird prom dress did she wear? haha. Perhaps her jealous is just coming out about the wedding, maybe not being involved picking it. Let it roll off your shoulder, I love it and she’s the only negative Nancy so clearly the problem is HER!
Post # 11
That doesnt look like a prom dress! Think shes just being arsey. Majority rules and it is your day!!
Post # 12
@missjewels: No you’re in the right. If anything I think you’re being very considerate of your entire bridal party by finding a dress that helps hide their flaws, paying for it, and picking ordering extra dresses to cover the case of stock running out. I think you need to have a sit down with her and explain to her she has input but not veto power when it comes to your wedding.
Post # 13
Dress is way too sophisticated to look like a prom dress. You are not wrong, she is.
Post # 14
I would be frustrated that you had to know asap mainly because i have no clue what my measurements are and we knows sizes aren’t universal. But if you are going to go to the trouble to buy all around my size and return what doesn’t work then I would think you are the greatest person ever.
Post # 15
no, you’re not wrong. like another poster said, you’re being very considerate about the whole thing and it’s very good of you to buy the dresses for the girls. i chose my girls’ dresses and they were responsible for paying for them, so i don’t know how she can be upset with you.
i had a similar problem with one of my bridesmaids. she made everything so difficult- didn’t like the dress (i gave her an opportunity to let me know if she had a style preference and she didn’t tell me anything), took forever to order the dress, her answer to everything was, “i didn’t know…i don’t think i can…can it wait?” and i was like you- i tried to be very considerate of everyone’s time/money and i feel like i got nothing but complaining/excuses from this girl. some people said it sounded like she was jealous and i hated to think that, but i guess it was a possibility.
anyway, try not to let her attitude get to you. planning your wedding should be fun, don’t let her ruin it for you.
Post # 16
I am pretty sure you are being so nice offering to pay for them! That doesn’t happen a lot, then you actually get extras for people to try on. WOW…dont let her get you down!