(Closed) Bridesmaid dress issues. What is proper?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
5773 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Can she order a 16 and have it altered down?

Post # 5
Member
2484 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@LGenz:  +1, what I was thinking.

How sold are you on this specific dress?  You could have mis-matched, just in the same color, or the same dress in different shades?

Post # 6
Member
45656 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s a strapless empire waist dress, easily altered. I would ask her to order the size 16.

Post # 8
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@LGenz:  

 

+1

 

@Klein2bReidy:  

 

I generally am a very compassionate and caring person who always tries to resolve issues. However, in this case, you have a bridesmaid who not only did not follow through on your specific instructions about when to order her dress but who also lied to you about having done so. If she is unable to secure the dress in a viable size (with alterations), she may have to accept the fact that her choices in this situation have, unfortunately, resulted in her not being able to serve as one of your attendants. I am not saying that you should allow your relationship to be damaged or that you should “fire” her. Instead, this is more like the case of someone who wanted to attend a concert with a group of friends but who, by waiting to see if a less-expensive ticket would become available at the last minute, may simply find herself without one.

 

Post # 9
Member
5773 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Klein2bReidy:  The odds of the 14 fitting her without any alterations were slim to none. Bridesmaid dresses are made for like 6 ft tall rectangles. It sounds like she cannot afford to remain in the bridal party, is there any way you can gently suggest that if the costs are too much of a burden maybe she’d be happier attending as a guest?

 

Post # 11
Member
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@LGenz:  +1 about the alterations.  I’ve been in a few weddings and always had to get my BM dress altered (and I’m a 5’10 rectangle), as has everyone else I know.  Those things just don’t fit off the rack.  I seriously doubt any size she ordered would be perfect.

Also, did she actually go to the store to try on/get measured?  Bridal store sizes can run weird so if she’s just going off her normal size she might not even need a 14.

Post # 12
Member
11239 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree that she needs to order a size up and have it altered, or give her an out. Tell her that she has limited options and that you understand if she is not able to afford the dress, but that you hope that she can make it as a guest.

Post # 14
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Klein2bReidy:  Absolutely, you’ve done your part, and if she can’t afford to be in the bridal party, then that is best for everyone.  It’s much more difficult to deal with the stresses when the financial issues come up later anyway, so be glad it’s happening early enough that she can opt out if need be, sad as that may be.

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