Post # 1
So some of the bridesmaids dresses came in today and I was so excited. The dress we picked was a favorite of all of the girls and the sample looked great! However, the sample was a little bigger than the one that they ordered. Now that its come in my bustiest bridesmaid just tried it on for me and I’m a little concerned about the amount of cleavage. The dress looks gorgeous and I love it but it shows a little more than I would like. She’s already brought it home and has no intention of any alterations. I don’t want to be an overbearing bride, but am very conservative and I don’t want boobies all over the place! Am I crazy? What do I do?
Post # 3
@MissGoosie: Need a pic, that would help.
I mean, if it is just too much cleavage, you could request that she put in a modesty panel or something. As the bride you have absolute authority over the dresses.
My input though is that you cover the cost of any “extra” modifications that you might based on “too much boobage” concerns.
Post # 4
@PeachSnapple: +1. If you are uncomfortable with it, have it altered. But I do think you should pay for the alteration not her.
Post # 5
@MissGoosie: keep in mind that if they ordered the same size as the size of the sample and the sample’s a bit larger, it’s possible that the sample was a bit stretched out from all the try-ons. Do you have pics of the girl in the dress? If she’s able to wear a bra with the dress, it’s probably fine.
If you’re uncomfortable with the state of the dress, I’d address it privately with the Bridesmaid or Best Man in question. Try to focus on the difference in what you expected (sample) and what was delivered (the actual dress). As a busty girl, I feel uncomfortable when someone points out “boobs all over the place” because there’s not much I can do about it, short of reduction surgery.
@PeachSnapple: has a good idea, with you covering the cost of extra modifications to address the cleavage concerns.
Post # 6
@bitsybee: Thanks so much for addressing this from a personal standpoint! When she tried it on I know it was a little bit more revealing than she had anticipated as well, but she has a very tiny waste and a D-DD cup chest. When they gave her the option, she ended up buying a smaller dress to fit her waste instead of her chest and I didn’t want to tell her what to do because it’s her body! My concern is that I want her to feel comfortable and covered and I wouldn’t mind offering to pay for her alterations if she wants to cover a little, but if she doesn’t I don’t want to make her uncomfortable by suggesting that her chest is too much. As much as I think both of us would maybe like a little more coverage, I want to make sure that i don’t approach the situation in a way that makes her feel like her body isn’t beautiful! Any advice?
Post # 7
@MissGoosie: Not a problem! I feel for your Bridesmaid or Best Man — I’m a size 0 / 2 pants and a 32DDD up top — and you, since cleavage / body issues are tricky.
The problem with dresses is that things that fit up top tend too have too big arm holes, too broad shoulders and hang like a sack — alterations can easily run $200 to rebuild the bodice on a dress for me (in SF, so hopefully it’s just an SF thing!). She might have ordered to fit her waist, hopng that it would even out.
Maybe you guys can meet up for a walk and ask her what she thought of the dress compared to the sample, if she noticed any differences in fit, etc. — if she brings it up, then share with her how relieved you are because you thought you were going crazy, it looked different but you didn’t want to say anything in case it was an optical illusion, you wanted to verify it against pictures, etc.
If she doesn’t pick up on it, I’d let her know that you think she’s gorgeous (hello, she’s one of your BMs!) though now you’re worried you accidentally asked her to order a dress that’s more fit for da club than da church (“Are you comfortable showing that much cleavage to my grandparents?”) so you’d like to see if she’s open to alterations for the bodice, so that she can keep the focus on her tiny waist (i.e. emphasize the feature she ordered for).
Of course, tread carefully — if she’s very excited about how the dress currently fits, I’d get all your BM’s matching cardigans for the ceremony and pictures. You don’t want to lose a friendship or have her think that she’s fat, horrible, etc. because her boobs 🙁
You seem like a very caring friend, so hopefully the conversation goes well. Good luck and let us know how it goes!