Post # 1
Hi everyone! I am getting married in less than 4 months 🙂 One of my bridesmaids, a girl I considered one of my closest best friends, dropped out of my wedding, in a way that really hurt me and ruined our friendship. This happened 2 months ago. There is another girl, a friend I’ve had for many many years that I was on the fence with asking from the beginning. She and I had not spoken in awhile, and after I got engaged our friendship has returned to how it used to be, and she has been very active in helping me plan things, and with the bachelorette party. When I asked my girlfriends originally I just wasn’t sure if where our friendship was going, and even before the other girl dropped out I regretted not asking her. She knows that the other girl dropped out, and why. Do you think asking her to be in the wedding now would be bad? She’s not easily offended, but I never would want to hurt her or make her feel like a replacement. She’s not a replacement, but I can absolutely see why she would feel that way. I wouldn’t ask her to pay for a dress, and my mom is generously paying for everyones hair & make up. Advice needed 🙂 Thank you.
Post # 2
I would ask her! There really isn’t anything for her to get offended about, especially since she was originally not in the wedding but still helping out with planning. Also since she knows the story about the Bridesmaid or Best Man who dropped out, she’ll understand that you need/want someone else to take her place. Oh and one more thing, I’m sure she picked up on the fact that you weren’t super close but then got closer after getting engaged/picking your bridal party. I’m sure she would be honored.
Post # 2
You can have a heartfelt conversation with her, telling her everything you told us here.
Also, if she is not your only attendant, you can just not ask an additional one, and just have one down. Then it is up to her. Seems to me, if you have a few on your side, and she is asked late, it does give the impression that she is an afterthought. It is up to you to explain your feelings on that.
Post # 3
this is totally going to depend on the girl. I had a bridesmaid drop out as well (due to a pregnancy, she is due right before my wedding and lives on the other side of the country so cannot travel.) I had become closer with a girlfriend in thet time since I asked the original group of girls. I brought up the situation with her and she actually offered to be a bridesmaid (I could tell she really wanted to be one), so it all worked out. Maybe have an open converation with her about it and just assess her interest first. You’re probably going to get a lot of no ways on here but I really think it’s just about you and her and your relationship.
Post # 5
Ask her. If she is not easily offended, I doubt she’d feel like a replacement. Tell her that you wish you’d asked her sooner anyway, and that by now she has earned the title of Bridesmaid or Best Man so why not actually be one. Thank her for being there for you.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t ask her. I mean, I know you say you regretted not asking her, but you weren’t going to go through with asking her until the other girl dropped out, right? So whether you call her it or not – she is
a replacement. If you felt strongly enough about asking her you would’ve before the other girl dropped out and just had an uneven number of BMs. I’d be offended and feel like a number if I were her.